One of the worst, yet totally human, things people do in relationships is wonder about their partner's ex. How can you not be curious about how your partner was with their ex, what kind of things they used to do together, and how in love with them they actually were? If your partner still has feelings for their ex, it can have a way of affecting your relationship now. So if you have cause to wonder, experts say there are ways to tell if your partner had a deeper connection with an ex previously than they may have with you now.
As Rosalind Sedacca, CDC, Divorce Coach and Founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network tells Bustle, this can show up in a number of different ways. For instance, they may bring their ex up in conversations or compare your behavior to their ex's. Little things here and there that remind your partner of their past may even trigger an emotional response in them.
If you're concerned that your partner had a deeper connection with their ex than they do with you now, there's no need to worry just yet. As Dr. Danielle Forshee, Doctor of Psychology and licensed social worker tells Bustle, it doesn't necessarily mean that they loved their ex more than they love you now.
"It can mean a few things," Dr. Forshee says. Worst case scenario, it could mean that your partner is not completely over their ex. It could mean that your partner doesn’t really know how to communicate their desires, needs, or expectations in a relationship and brings up their past relationship as an example. Or she says it could also mean that your partner has limited experience in relationships and just doesn’t know any better. Whether or not this means something bad for your relationship, really depends on why they’re engaging in this behavior, she says.
So here are some signs that your partner may have had a deeper connection with their ex when they were dating them than they do with you now, according to experts.