It can be a weird feeling when you realize your relationship isn't working. But it happens — even in a long-term relationship — that, despite spending months or years together, you can realize that something is just missing. Sometimes that thing that's missing is a fundamental compatibility issue, sometimes, you and your partner are just growing apart, but, sometimes, you're the person holding your relationship back. If you're emotionally unavailable, the relationship can only ever go so far. Being emotionally unavailable is not something to feel awful about, it's just something to know and understand, so you can work on it.
"Having a better understanding of yourself will help you navigate your relationship," NYC-based therapist Kimberly Hershenson tells Bustle. "You will learn your triggers and how best to avoid them or deal with them. This will lead to less arguing in your relationship and more understanding of differences."
So how do you know if you're emotionally unavailable? Well, it may be that your partner has said it. But if not, there are signs based off how you treat your partner — and how you feel about the relationship as a whole — that can show you're not being open. Or at least, not open to a relationship with this partner. Here's what you need to look out for, according to experts.