7 Things No One Tells You About Vacation Sex
Even as an adult, when "summer break" is no longer a thing, there's something romantic and magical about summertime that makes us want to find love (or at least have hot sex). At some point, everyone's fantasized about having a sexy summer fling, especially if it involves a spontaneous vacation hookup. But what's the truth about vacation sex? It can definitely be more intense than sex under "normal" circumstances — but it comes with its own drawbacks, too.
"Vacation sex/relationships are both incredible, freeing experiences," Brittany Burr, writer and editor at PsychNSex.com, tells Bustle. "This being said, they can also be incredibly misleading. When we have our vacation goggles on, it's often that we think a potential mate is far cooler than they actually are. I mean, everyone seems chill, free-spirited, and insightful when they're on vacation, right? Maybe, if you met them in the hustle and bustle, you wouldn't like the real them so much."
Of course, a vacation fling can totally turn into a real, long-term relationship if there's a genuine connection and both parties are cool with long distance. But if it turns out to be just a short-term, casual summer hookup, there's nothing wrong with that either. If you're contemplating finding a steamy hookup while on vacay this summer, here are seven things no one tells you about vacation sex (until now).
1. Vacation Sex Is More Intense
For long-term couples, vacation sex is literally and figuratively hotter. Even just being in a new setting can be the catalyst you need to spice up your sex life and make you both feel like a brand new couple again.
"Sex is more intense when there is newness involved," Jonathan Bennett, dating/relationship coach and owner of The Popular Man, tells Bustle. "If you’re having sex in a beautiful hotel surrounded by incredible scenery, it can make it that much more exciting and meaningful."
2. ...And More Adventurous
If you're usually more on the vanilla side, the laidback, super fun atmosphere of a vacation might bring out a kinkier (or at least hornier) side of you.
"People usually find vacations relaxing, fun, and exciting," Bennett says. "They are also typically open to new experiences and activities when traveling. This openness to fun and adventure can translate into the bedroom as vacation hookups can be more intense and less vanilla."
3. You're Less Inhibited On Vacation
When you're in your home city, it's easy to get stuck in a dating or sexual rut. But in a new area full of new people, you don't have to worry about your friends' and family's opinion on your romantic decisions... so you'll feel free to do whatever you want.
"Many people hold back sexually at home for fear of judgment by uptight family, friends, and others in the local community," Bennett says. "The best part of hooking up on vacation is no one knows you or cares what you do. Your sexual adventures won’t be the subject of local gossip."
4. Summer Is The Best Season For Sex
Sex is great no matter what time of year it is, but according to a recent survey by online sex toy retailer Lovehoney, couples actually have more sex during the summer months than any other time of year. Their research found that July is the peak month for sex: almost a quarter of couples said they have sex most frequently in July.
Needless to say, going on a summer vacation is the perfect opportunity to ramp up your sex life — or even try to break your record for the most sex you've had in one day.
5. You're More Confident On Vacation
No matter what exotic location you're in, there's one thing about vacay that's constant: when your only worries are which sundress to wear or which picture to Insta, you'll feel more relaxed, recharged, and confident — all of which makes you instantly sexier.
"I don’t think anything is hotter about the sex [on vacation], but maybe you have the time to put yourself together and feel a little more sexy and relaxed," Susan Trombetti, matchmaker at Exclusive Matchmaking, tells Bustle. "You feel more confident about yourself and less rushed. It's just a mindset. That’s why we go on vacation… to recharge our feelings and feel better about life. We get away from it and suspend real life."
6. Vacations Can Strengthen Your Relationship
If you're going on vacation with your partner for the first time, there's a lot to be excited about. It's a chance to get to know each other better in a low-pressure, super relaxed environment. Or, if you've been together forever, it's a chance to reconnect romantically and come back more sexually and emotionally in sync.
"When you are with a partner, it’s a chance to get away and just be the fun two of you instead of the entrapping of responsibility of real life," Trombetti says. "Not only can you recharge, but you both can tap reset on the relationship. Many couples come back more in love with a tighter bond after having time to themselves."
7. ...Even If It Doesn't Go Well
In the unfortunate event that you have a nightmare vacation, don't fret: if you're a strong, stable couple, weathering those kinds of storms can actually help you get even closer (after the stress subsides).
"When we are in a relationship, we expect to have this big romantic connection while we are away," Trombetti says. "If the trip is disastrous, it’s beyond disappointing. The best couples bond over this, too. You can’t control the hurricane, the creepy crawlers in your bedroom, and the locale that doesn’t look like the brochure."
Without a doubt, the best part about summer is the feeling that romance and excitement are in the air. Whether you're going on vacation or just doing a staycation, you can make the most of summertime by getting even closer with your partner, or by indulging in a sexy summer fling.