How do you know when you’ve met “The One”? Many of us have probably heard time and time again that good communication is a key ingredient to a relationship’s long-term success and happiness. Since being with “The One” should be unlike any other relationship you’ve ever had, the way you communicate with you’re partner can possibly clue you in to whether or not they’re truly it.
As a whole, being with your soulmate should make you feel completely comfortable with being yourself. You love your partner just as much as they love you, you both see a future with each other in it, and you inspire each other to be the very best versions of yourselves you can be. “These relationships are incredibly special,” Britanny Burr, Editor at Large and Love and Relationship expert for Psych N Sex tells Bustle. “Though it should be understood that they still require effort.”
Communicating with a partner, whether you truly believe they're the right person for you or not, will still take some effort. After all, you’re human. So it’s important to remember that it’s not always going to be perfect or necessarily any easier than any other relationship. But according to experts, there are some major differences in the way you communicate with “The One” than anyone you’ve ever been in a romantic relationship with. Here’s how:
1. You Communicate With More Respect And Patience
When you're with "The One," you don't take your partner for granted. You treat your relationship as a strong friendship that you work hard to keep. "In my personal and professional experience, I've seen that people who know they're with the right partner communicate with more respect and patience," Katherine Shorter, author and founder of Yoked tells Bustle. "These individuals communicate with each other knowing that their words will have consequences and implications, so they choose their words carefully and attempt to communicate in a way that is going to be supportive and productive."
2. You End Arguments In A Healthy Way
"I work with a lot of couples in my practice and one thing I look for to possibly determine if they are in a happy healthy relationship is how they end their arguments," Lindsey Devin, licensed marriage and family therapist, tells Bustle. "When it comes to communication we tend to all have different ways we vent our frustrations or anger with each other. When we are with 'The One' we tend to do a better job at finding ways to recover or repair after each argument."
So look at how you and your partner end arguments. Do they end with slamming doors or are there apologies and a hug involved? "When we feel safe and secure with our partners we do a better job at ensuring our communication doesn’t cross a line of disrespect," Devin says. "The best of couples can argue. Happy couples repair after every one!"
3. Your Non-Verbal Communication Speaks Volumes
"When you are with 'The One", there are body adjustments you make naturally without thinking about it," relationship expert Davida Rappaport tells Bustle. These forms of non-verbal communication include looking at your partner in a way that's both thoughtful and endearing and adjusting your body in a way that makes you face them more often, especially when you're talking.
4. You Finish Each Other's Sentences
If you and your partner are so in sync with each other that you're able to finish each other’s sentences, that's probably a good sign that they're "The One." "Your thoughts and ideas mesh and you are mentally connected," Rappaport says. While this doesn't necessarily mean you're able to do this all the time, the fact that it does happen, is still a pretty good sign.
5. You Go Out Of The Way To Show Them You Care
Communication isn't just limited to the things you say or the meaningful looks and touches you give. Going out of your way to do nice things for your partner is another way to communicate you care about them. When you're with "The One," Rappaport says, "You try to make their life easier." Another way you do this is by surprising them. "Surprising them with something special is a communication of love and consideration," she says.
6. You're There For Them
Good partners are there for each other. But when you're with "The One," you just have that natural ability to offer assistance in any way you can. "If they want you to just listen and be a sounding board, you do that. If they want your opinion you wait until they ask you for yours," Rappaport says. While neither of you should be "everything" to each other, it's always important to be there whenever they need you.
7. You Actually Communicate During Sex
"When you're with 'The One' your style of [sex] flows seamlessly," Rappaport says. "You have an unspoken language, but are not afraid to tell your partner what you want or need. There is a give and take that is very loving and heartfelt." That doesn't mean it's always going to be perfect. It just means you're comfortable communicating with each other in aspects of your life that might seem uncomfortable for many.
As Burr says, your relationship with "The One" is special, but that doesn't necessarily make it any easier. The truth is, any couple can benefit from working on their communication skills. But the big difference between communicating with "The One" and anyone else is the effort you put into it. If you consciously make the effort to communicate and keep them in your life, and your partner does the same, they could very well be the one for you.