There’s a lot to be said for the familiarity of a long-term relationship. It’s great to have someone you can rely on; someone you can let down the artifice with and just be. However, unfamiliarity and artifice are two major factors for sexual attraction. Human beings like variety and crave newness — two things that can feel hard to come by in a long-term relationship.
That’s not say that everyone in an LTR is doomed forever to a lackluster sex life — in fact, a new study just proved that's not the case. It just means long-term couples have to put in effort at recreating that artifice and newness in relationships. For some couples, that might mean opening things up and being “monogamish” or even polyamorous. But plenty of couples are committed to monogamy and are looking for ways to bring some newness back, even with one partner who has been around for a long time. That’s where sexy date nights come in.
“Research from psychologist Charlotte Reissman found that couples who engaged in an ‘exciting’ activity each week for 10 consecutive weeks were happier than couples that participated in ‘pleasant’ activities,” Logan Ury, TED Resident and dating and relationships expert, tells Bustle. “Whats’s an exciting activity? Something that both partners are willing to participate in and something different from their everyday life.”
I don’t know about you, but I think sexy dates nights definitely fall under the “exciting” category. But everyone has their limits for how exciting they want their dates to be — and how much “sex” they want in a sexy date. With that in mind, here are nine sexy date ideas in ascending order, starting with very low key and ending in hot and heavy.