Being early to events, taking multivitamins, remembering commitments and actually going to hot yoga are all aspirational goals, but for people who don't have it all together, they likely aren't a priority. It's not that we enjoy doing the bare minimum — it's just usually what happens when you overestimate your own ambition. But if you're the person in your friend group who's constantly texting "Five minutes away!" when you haven't even gotten dressed yet, people probably think you don't have your life together — and they aren't going to be afraid to tell you. If you're wondering whether your loved ones think you don't have your life together, it's time to examine the signs. After all, it can be hard to know whether you're getting people's actual opinions when most of us have a hard time being blunt.
People may couch their concerns in other language. It's kind of like training an animal or child — instead of berating you when you make a mistake, they heap praise when you do something right. Even if you don't plan on making any changes soon, you'll be fine. According to The Guardian, late people with loud mouths are smarter than their counterparts, so there are some upsides. But if you're curious whether you're a disorganized person, these are the ways to tell — and they have to do with what your friends are saying.
1. People Congratulate You On Being On Time
Whenever someone congratulates you for behavior that's a social norm, it's likely indicative that they expected you to disappoint them. Of course, you could have a friend, coworker or family member who's just snarky and never satisfied, but if multiple people seem surprised and impressed when you arrive on time, they're trying to tell you something.
2. Your Friends Bring Extra Stuff Everywhere
If you're always looking for a hair tie, pen, or tampon because you just don't have them, your loved ones may take it upon themselves to bring extra stuff just in case. Speaking from experience, it's a sign that they care about you, but also evidence that you may want to prepare more.
3. No One Believes You When You RSVP Yes
There's a difference between saying "I'll be there" and actually showing up, and if you regularly bail on people, they'll begin to be pleasantly surprised when you do honor your commitment. Or they'll stop inviting you to join them. It's a risk you're willing to take!
4. Everyone Expects Your House To Be A Mess
Some people love unexpected visitors, but I often panic as I try to remember the last time I cleaned the bathroom when I hear a surprise knock on the door. After a while, your friends will either give you ample notice or just not judge you for living in chaos.
5. Your Wallet Is Never On You
Everyone forgets their wallet at home every once in a while, but if you check your pockets and realize they're empty on the regular, you probably don't have things together. Thank goodness for Venmo, though.
6. You've Considered Buying A Tracker For Your Stuff
If you find your glasses in the fridge or under the couch or often have to ask your roommates to help you find your keys, it's another sign that you need may some help. At least the technology now exists to track your things, though it won't do a ton of good if what you're constantly losing is your phone.
7. You're Given Fake Event Start Times To Make Sure You Won't Be Late
If people tell you to get to an event at 7 p.m. when it actually starts at 7:30 p.m., it's a sign that they know you'll probably arrive at 7:45 p.m., anyway. What can you do? At least it's considerate of them.
8. Everyone Knows You're Lying About Your Calendar
When you say that you're checking your calendar, you actually mean you're committing the event to memory and crossing your fingers that you remember it. If you're feeling accomplished that day, you may write it down on your hand. That's why your friends always know to text you the day of an event to confirm, too!
9. Deadlines Are The Earliest You'll Ever Get Something In
If the deadline is Friday, the project will be finished Friday. You're suspicious of people who get work done early, anyway — who has the time? Look, we can't all be the same, and disorganization keeps our lives interesting, even though it often stresses us out in the process.
Look, not having it all together isn't the end of the world — you can still be funny, charming, and successful while your personal life is in a constant state of disarray, and that's fine. Just be thankful for your friends who, even when they're judging you, love you anyway.