9 Things Mercury Retrograde Is Definitely Not Responsible For

Andrew Zaeh / Bustle
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It seems like people try to blame Mercury retrograde for everything. But is it really Mercury retrograde’s fault that the barista messed up your order? To be fair, your order is really complicated, and you talk fast. While some people say to expect snafus in the realms of communication, technology, and travel during Mercury retrograde (making this current instance, spanning the holidays, particularly worrisome), it’s not fair to attribute every negative thing that happens to it; there are just some things that you can’t blame on Mercury retrograde. Like, did you ever stop and think about how Mercury feels when you blame it for you breaking your nail the second you walk out the salon? No? I didn’t think so.

It can be easy to work yourself up and forget that you have free will during Mercury retrograde, but I can assure you that Mercury hasn’t taken over you body and forced you to text your ex at 3:00 a.m. That was all your doing. If you’re one of those people who find yourself cursing Mercury retrograde over every little thing, you may want to read this.

Ahead, you’ll find a list of things you can absolutely not blame on Mercury retrograde — no matter how hard you try.

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1Headaches

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Headaches are way too common for you to suddenly blame Mercury retrograde on your throbbing temples. While Mercury retrograde has been known to cause technological headaches, it can’t actually cause real ones.

2Ghosting Someone

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Lapses in communication happen often during Mercury retrograde, but you can’t seriously blame this planet on you bailing on plans and never returning texts and phone calls. Just own up to the fact that you don’t want to talk to that person, and move on. (Ditto if you're the one getting ghosted — the reality is, you're better off without someone who would ghost you, anyway.)

3Depression

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Mercury retrograde is occurring during most of December, and a lot of people suffer from seasonal affective disorder (SAD) during the transition to winter. If you’re depressed, it’s definitely not Mercury retrograde’s fault; talk to your doctor about possible causes and treatment options so that you can deal with it when Mercury is direct, too.

4A bad Hair Day

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Your hair looked a mess at the holiday party, and you’re looking for someone to blame. Well, take a good, long look in the mirror and blame yourself because you can’t credibly put this on Mercury retrograde.

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5Stress

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If you’re stressed, Mercury retrograde probably isn’t the sole cause. Sure, folks — especially believers of astrology — tend to be more on edge during Mercury retrograde, but work, school, and relationships could be stressing you out too.

6Break Outs

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Mercury retrograde is said to cause cosmic confusion, but it is not responsible for the pimple on your face. Changes in diet, sleep, or stress can be a reason behind adult acne, so if you’ve been out of your normal routine during the holidays, this can be a reminder to get back to your regularly scheduled habits.

7Missing Deadlines

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Try telling your boss that you missed the big end-of-the-year deadline because Mercury retrograde. Chances are that won’t go over well. Sure, people say communication or technological failures may increase during Mercury retrograde, but if you're a believer in the phenomenon, take extra care to account for those possibilities.

8Overspending

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Your bank account does not care about Mercury retrograde. It’s great to be generous during the holidays, but don’t blame overspending on Mercury retrograde — especially if you're also buying gifts for family, friends, and yourself throughout the entire time it's in retrograde. Mercury retrograde didn’t drag and drop all those items in your cart, and it didn’t select expedited shipping. That was you.

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9Hooking Up With An Ex

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Exes reportedly tend to come out of nowhere during Mercury retrograde, especially when it coincides with the holidays, but only you can control how much attention you give them. Pre-emptively block their social media, change their name in your phone to a reminder of how much they suck, and remember that the stars are not responsible for getting you back together.

Mercury retrograde isn't responsible for every bad thing that happens. It might be an easy scapegoat, but you'll eventually have to reflect on what's really causing all these things to run amok in you're life. Do some introspection, and don't blame Mercury retrograde for things it has nothing to do with.