Friends and fellow period havers, have I got a tale to relay to you. It’s a story of pain, of mystery, of horror, and ultimately, of triumph. It is a story about a tampon a woman forgot was hidden in her bra that subsequently flew out, and it will speak to you on a deeply, personal level. I’m sure you have questions like, “How did the tampon get in there?” and “How did it fly out?” and “How did this person live to tell the tale and not immediately die of embarrassment?” Patience, people with periods. In time, you will learn.
Redditor jurassicfool posted the story to the r/TwoXChromosomes subreddit. If you aren’t familiar, this subreddit is dedicated to “women’s perspectives” but accepts posts and participation from all genders. Sometimes, the posts are serious, like this thread about sexual harassment in the workplace. Sometimes, the posts are seeking advice, like this person wanted to know what she should do after she was told she was “too harsh” on her stalker. Sometimes, they are sincere and will bring you to tears.
This story will certainly bring you to tears, but the cry-snort-laughing kind.
The post by u/jurassicfool starts off unassuming, even pretty typical. Person has a big presentation. Person happens to get period day of big presentation (“I needed to convince the executive team at my company that the website I manage should be the next one in line to get a redesign,” u/jurassicfool writes.) Person needs to change their tampon at work. It’s a tale as old as time, if you measure time by periods and menstruation products.
However, this is where the story takes a turn.
An hour before the meeting, u/jurassicfool thinks they may have “sprung a leak.” They do what any of us have done in that situation: panic briefly before hurriedly, but inconspicuously, transporting a tampon on their person to the nearest bathroom. “I hastily excavated a tampon from my satchel and, lacking pockets, tucked it into my bra to prevent my coworkers from seeing it as I hustled to the bathroom,” the post reads.
Thankfully, it was just a “phantom leak,” as described by u/jurassicfool. (Side note: how have I lived with a period until now without the vocabulary for that ghostly feeling of “...did I leak? Oh, nope, just kidding.)
Leakless, u/jurassicfool went to give the aforementioned big presentation...with the tampon still in their bra.
“I made my way to the front of the room and started hooking my laptop up to the projector,” they write. “To my endless dismay, that was the moment my hidden tampon decided to make an appearance. It had slipped out of my bra, and I felt it graze my belly as it plummeted toward hem of my loose-fitting shirt.”
The horror! The pain! Truly a scare rivaling even the scariest of scary movies. (Hereditary is shaking.)
As the tampon fell out of their shirt, u/jurassicfool made the quick decision to try to catch the rogue tampon. “Try” being the operative word here:
“Instead of catching it, I swatted it -- an impeccable under-hand serve that sent my tampon soaring, with all the grace of a badminton birdie, directly into the center of the oak conference table, where it landed with with a loud phlatt.”
The room, of mostly older men, turned silently to u/jurassicfool, who proceed to give the best most badass follow-up to that act: “Now that I have your undivided attention, let's get started.”
Yes. Perfect. 10/10.
“All-in-all, the presentation went well,” u/jurassicfool concluded. “And I was approved for my redesign.”
Other Reddit users were quick to applaud that recovery. The post currently has over 6.4 thousands upvotes on r/TwoXChromosomes.
Anyone with a period probably has an embarrassing period story. It’s honestly just part of the period-having territory. We’ve all been there, with our stash of super-sized tampons accidentally dumped on a public bathroom floor. If nothing else, this story is a reminder that we shouldn’t be ashamed of our periods or the period products our periods require. Wave those maxi pads and tampons proudly, friends.
You can (and should) read the story in full on Reddit. Put it in the history books. Print it out, laminate it, and hang it in the bathroom for encouragement during that time of the month. At the very least, tweet it out to all clothing manufacturers who need to know that pockets save lives.