As if chalupas weren't already enough of a gift. You may be a Taco Bell fan, you may even say you love the chain — but would you go so far as to say that Taco Bell saved your life? Well, one man can now literally say this his life was saved by Taco Bell's hot sauce. How does Taco Bell hot sauce save a man's life, other than awakening his tastebuds to such pleasure that he finds the strength to go on? Well, per a Facebook post from the Winter Haven Police Department, this stranger-than-fiction tale is 100 percent true.
According to the Facebook post made by police, a 77-year-old man was sitting in his car in the parking lot of a Taco Bell in Winter Haven, Florida. Inside, another man was sitting in a window seat of said Taco Bell, presumably enjoying one of the many, many delicious menu items on offer. He then, as so many of us do, went up to help himself to some of Taco Bell's epic hot sauce. So far, so good. The 77-year-old man and his wife, who was in the car with him, meant to back out to leave — instead, police reported, the man accidentally put the car into drive, at which point the car jumped the curb and collided into the restaurant, right where the other man had been sitting moments before. The pictures are pretty gruesome but, amazingly, no one was hurt — not the drivers, workers, or customers.
"The occupants could have been injured and the man who got up to get more hot sauce could have sustained a devastating injury, or even death," Jamie Brown, a spokeswoman for the police force, told the State newspaper. "He should play the lottery." He already is playing the lottery, I think you'll find — THE TASTEBUD LOTTERY. Do they even realize how many different levels of hot sauce there are?
Seriously, though — as scary as the situation was (and could have been), the near-miss situation will probably only serve to heighten the cult-like status Taco Bell already has over its devotees (my brother will drive 90 minutes round trip for one of their burritos without batting an eye). And in case there was any question about what saved the man's life, the official police statement on their Facebook page made it very clear: "A customer who was in the restaurant initially had been in the exact spot as the crash, however he had gotten up to get more hot sauce just prior to the crash." QED. Thus it is proven.
Taco Bell is no stranger to the headlines. Normally it's for menu updates (like the Taco Bell vegetarian menu coming this year that I'm already salivating over) or merch opportunities, like buying Taco Bell sweaters or being able to buy Taco Bell cheese at home. But Taco Bell can also play a more significant role in people's lives — you can have your birthday party there and you can even get married in a Taco Bell in Las Vegas, because there is no god and also because tacos. But now, Taco Bell's significance has elevated in a massive way.
Hot sauce saves lives, people, hot sauce saves lives.