Well, guys, it turns out that the Disney Cards Against Humanity starter pack isn’t happening, but we ladies still have plenty of reasons to celebrate thanks to to the new Cards Against Humanity For Her set. Like all the best things targeted at women, it's exactly the same in content and function as the original, it’s bright spanking pink, and it costs $5 more for no legitimate reason whatsoever. I think I speak for every card-carrying feminist when I say, IT’S ABOUT DAMN TIME!
“I’m so excited for this fresh version of Cards Against Humanity,” said events director Trin Garritano in a press release. “I’m a 32-year-old woman, so I understand what it’s like to feel stale.”
I feel ya, Trin. And in even better news, now your experience with the Pink Tax doesn't have to be limited to all those boring necessities like razors, deodorant, and dry-cleaning; now, that niggling reminder of the patriarchal economy can be proudly displayed in your home, announcing to the world in a stylish way, "It's OK that I get paid 77 cents on the dollar to dudes but still pay over $1365 more in products per year than they do thanks to baseless, gendered pricing, because it's still stylish as all hell!"
And what better way to celebrate the basic sexism of our capitalist society than with this super precious card game??
Note, though, ladies, that this game is limited edition, so if you snooze you lose (kind of like that time that you didn't ask for a raise "aggressively enough" to merit the one that your male coworker who does the same amount of work as you got, haha!).
“Cards Against Humanity for Her makes me feel like my type of beautiful,” said writer Lisa Beasley in a press release. “I can't wait to share this game with my girls. As a black woman who makes 63 cents on the dollar, I would dip into my savings to get this game.”
But wait, there's more! Women can add to the full pink out experience by purchasing the Weed and Period Expansion packs, both available for an additional $5 at the Cards Against Humanity store.
To emphasize the above, this is, in fact, the exact same Cards Against Humanity game you have played all through your reckless youth, except pink and more expensive. Why's that? "Because we're worth it," Cards Against Humanity explains. And if you think you don't need this extra copy of a thing you already own, they also weighed in: "Treat yourself! Say yes to the dress. Find the best color to wear for your skin tone. Stay in with the girls."
So what exactly was the inspiration behind this innovative new product? In a press release, two of the creators weighed in.
“Every night I cleanse with Alba Botanica Hawaiian nourishing face wash, then I moisturize with unscented Acure organics. My skincare routine is simple but effective," said head writer Jo Feldman.
“Rachel is the best Bachelorette we’ve ever had. She has the best chemistry with Dean or Peter," writer Ali Barthwell added. "Bryan is too good to be true, and I don't trust him.”
Well, there you have it, ladies! Can't argue with sound logic like that. If you're interested in purchasing a Cards Against Humanity For Her set, you can find it here for $30. If you're interested in doing something more constructive about the patriarchy or solving the economical oppression of women, then rest easy knowing the profits from this game go to EMILY'S list to donate and help elect progressive, pro-choice women into office.