Chrissy Metz’s New Book Includes Stories About Her Childhood That Will Break Your Heart

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Chrissy Metz's book, This Is Me: Loving the Person You Are Today, hits stores next week. And based on an excerpt People shared ahead of its release, it looks like Metz wasn't afraid to be honest about her past. Chrissy Metz shared details about her childhood, including alleged abuse from her stepdad, in the book. In addition to weight shaming, Metz claims she also suffered physical abuse at the hands of her stepfather, though she added that they're in a better place now.

In the book excerpt, Metz refers to her stepdad as "Trigger." Here's what she wrote about her stepfather and weight shaming when she was younger:

"My body seemed to offend him, but he couldn't help but stare, especially when I was eating. He joked about putting a lock on the refrigerator. We had lived with a lack of food for so long that when it was there, I felt like I had to eat it before it disappeared. Food was my only happiness."
"And so, I began to hide my eating. I'd get up in the middle of the night and eat. I'd sneak food to eat in the bathroom. Cookies, chips. Things I could eat as fast as possible to avoid detection... Things that would give me the brief bliss of numbness."

Metz has talked about her family's financial struggles in the past. In a Glamour interview last February, Metz shared that when she booked her role as Kate on This Is Us, she had just 81 cents in her bank account. (The actor had landed the part of Ima Wiggles on American Horror Story: Freak Show, but she struggled to book new roles after that.) She mentioned her stepfather in that interview, as well, explaining that he helped her during her financial struggles by paying her car insurance while she was struggling in Los Angeles.

But in her book, the actor also described physical abuse that she says her stepfather inflicted on her during her childhood. Aside from criticizing her eating habits and weighing her, Metz says her stepfather hit her. She added that things escalated at one time to the point where she wished she could shoot him. Here's some of what Metz claimed:

"I don't remember why Trigger hit me the first time. He never punched my face. Just my body, the thing that offended him so much. He shoved me, slapped me, punched my arm. He would hit me if he thought I looked at him wrong. I remember being on the kitchen floor after he knocked me over, and I was begging to know what I did. He just shoved me hard with his foot."

Still, Metz and her stepfather appear to have had a complicated relationship. Metz also wrote that she "really did love him" and that her stepdad "did more for me than my father ever did." It sounds like the two of them bonded on occasion, even in her younger days. Metz wrote that she watched PBS' The Civil War miniseries with her stepdad. "I needed to figure out why this person could do right by me as a provider, but be unable to love me," she explained in the book excerpt.

And Metz says she and her stepfather are in a better place now. "We have a relationship now," Metz wrote of her stepdad. "I do love him, and I do care about him."

Their relationship definitely isn't a typical one, and it sounds like Metz has endured more than anyone should have to during their formative years. Still, Metz appears to be taking the high road, and it's good to hear that she and her stepfather are in a better place. That doesn't mean she's forgetting the past — the emotion is clear from her writing — but it looks like she's willing to practice forgiveness and move forward.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse, call 911 or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1(800) 799-SAFE (7233) or visit thehotline.org.