Danielle Staub thought her weekend in Bimini, the Bahamas was a nice way to throw a wedding on Real Housewives Of New Jersey, and to an extent, it was. Well, the actual wedding itself was nice — the weather broke, and everyone seemed happy and glowing with good wishes for the new couple. Seemed is the operative word in that sentence, though, because before the nuptials actually took place, Danielle’s wedding on Real Housewives Of New Jersey was a whole mess of sniping, drinks being thrown, screaming, and some "locker room talk" among the men about the bride's intentions. One shouldn’t be surprised by any of this, but Danielle’s wedding brought out a lot of Real Housewives Of New Jersey unpleasantness that fans might not have been expecting.
Let’s just start off by saying that all the unpleasantness wasn’t necessary started by Danielle’s friends. Bridesmaids Teresa, Melissa, and Margaret tried to do everything that the bride wanted (however unnecessary it seemed at the time), but none of it was enough for Danielle. Danielle wasn’t happy with the way the women were behaving at their bridal party bikini photo shoot (yes, seriously), and she let them know it. When Margaret worried aloud about the expected rainy weather for the wedding day, Danielle accused her of trying to sabotage her nuptials, because if you comment on expected meteorological patterns, it brings them to fruition.
It makes them so. Everybody knows that.
When it came to the women at the wedding, Danielle was solely the problem and the instigator. She spent the entire day screaming and crying about how she needed to be tended to and prioritized on her third wedding day. What didn’t help, though, were the husbands. This time around, the men were the drama queens stirring the pot.
Marty, Danielle’s fiancé, Joe Gorga, and Joe Benigno, Margaret’s husband, went out for drinks while the women were doing whatever slave labor Danielle made them do. It was there that Joe Gorga, in a vulgar manner because Joe Gorga, asked Marty if he and Danielle were having regular sex. When Marty said they weren’t, both Joes claimed that Marty was “whipped” and that he needed to seriously reconsider their union if he wasn’t getting laid in a timely fashion. They also brought up the fact that Danielle hates Marty’s kids, but the sex seemed to be more important. It all ended as a goof, the Joes claimed, mostly because Marty was getting aggressive and wanted to beat Benigno up.
Anyone who has eyes can see that Marty and Danielle were a volatile match (they have since split), but maybe the cast of Real Housewives Of New Jersey would choose not to bring it up the day before or the day of the wedding. Are the Joes and Marty such good pals, really? Or is this a producer set up to make it seem like the wedding was more chaotic than it was? Because it was, without this interference, plenty chaotic. Marty and Danielle aren’t oil and water — they’re gasoline and a match.
The episode ended with Margaret affirming that Marty and Danielle weren’t going to last, which is something that Margaret, if she and Danielle were such good besties that they claim to be, should have brought up long before the planes touched down in Bimini. Creating drama is one thing, but warning a friend of a bad situation is another. Perhaps neither Danielle nor Marty would have listened, but at least they wouldn’t have flown 100 people to the Bahamas and spent $45,000 on a wedding dress (seriously) all for naught.