One of our deepest human needs is to feel understood. But finding a partner who truly gets who you are isn't easy. It might be tempting to overlook the signs your partner doesn't understand you on a deep level because you're afraid you can't find someone who does. But staying with someone who doesn't get you tends to leave you feeling unheard and disempowered.
You and your partner shouldn't be expected to perfectly understand each other right away, though. Understanding is something you can work toward over time. "When your partner takes actions that make you feel as if they don't understand you, you can say so at the time in a non-defensive, non-accusatory manner," psychotherapist Karen R. Koenig, M.Ed., LCSW, tells Bustle.
"Be honest without making your partner feel like a bad person, but also make sure you let him or her know that you don’t feel understood," Koenig says. "How a partner responds to your expressing of needs makes all the difference. If they are glad that you shared your feelings and say they'll try to do better, great. If what they say creates more distance between you, the relationship is in trouble."
Here are some signs your partner doesn't truly understand you.