If you, like me, have tastebuds so pathetic that you might be inclined to call an Eggo waffle spicy, then hold onto your tongues, y’all — because Fireball gummy bears are officially here to wreck your mouth in the best possible way. Fireball, aka everyone’s favorite cinnamon whisky/the only acceptable addition to hot chocolate on a winter’s night that doesn’t come frothing out of a whipped cream can, has leveled up to what is arguably the highest form that an alcoholic drink can achieve. We have tequila gummy bears, we have rosé gummy bears, and apparently, my friends, we have now tested just how far we can fly to the alcoholic gummy sun without getting burned, and discovered it was well worth the risk.
The gummy bears in question actually come in two varieties that are sold in two different Etsy shops. The first, from IrishConfectionaryCo, are dubbed "Fire Cubs," and retail for $5.80 for 100 bears. The second, "Fire Bears," hails from VineGelee, and retails for $9.95 and up based on weights in four ounce increments. I can see no start to summer more fitting than purchasing them both to embark in what is likely the most important taste test your adult self will ever experience.
What the gummies from each shop have in common is that they are, of course, soaked in Fireball, giving it that cinnamon kick and alcoholic bite. Pro-tip for any would-be consumers out there: they are best served cold, and also best served poolside, under a palm tree as Chris Pine in his pilot suit from Wonder Woman serves them to you along with a cool glass of something with a spinny umbrella on it. I don't make the gummy rules, guys, I just spread 'em recklessly and unchecked out to the internet.
All of this being said, the Fireball gummy bears are, understandably, going so viral right now that last week's glow-in-the-dark doughnuts ventured out in the daytime in embarrassment — so your odds of getting them in a timely manner may have just dropped slightly. Never fear, party people! Soaking your own gummy bears in alcohol is so aggressively DIY-able that it will ease the sting of that time you and John Mayer found out there's no such thing as the real world.
Just remember, y'all: with great wads of alcoholic gummies comes great responsibility. Chew responsibly.