According to the Gregorian calendar, the first day of autumn isn't until Sept. 22; that being said, according to the Pumpkin Spice Latte, it starts right damn now. And just in case there was any room for doubt, the creators of the rosé forty that went so viral at the beginning of the summer have now introduced a forty ounce red wine, officially canceling summer and ushering in the era of knit scarves, cloudy days, and gratuitous Instagramming of bed sheets and (duh) aforementioned red wine. It's about to get autumnal AF up here, y'all, and I've got my finger poised on the Valencia filter to prove it.
In case you missed the craze that was the rosé forty, it was essentially exactly as it sounds — a forty of alcohol, except in rosé form. It was pink and glorious and elevated every summer picnic in 2017, but unfortunately, like all great things, it wasn't built to last. While the rosé forty will likely spend the next few seasons hibernating until the earth spins us on some warmer axis, we have its bolder, lusher cousin the red wine forty to keep us company as we either successfully navigate cuffing season or marry ourselves to our Netflix browser once and for all.
Before you tighten the plaid shirt you've wrapped around your waist and head out the door, be advised that the forty ounce red wines aren't actually on sale until next week — which, at the very least, gives you just enough time to go on a Farewell Tour to Rosé with whatever you have left. Forty Ounce Wines currently retails in California, Colorado, Florida, Georgia, Illinois, Massachusetts, New Jersey, New York, North Carolina, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Texas, and Canada, with a full list of retailers under each state on their website here.
But hey, if red wine's not your ~vibe~, you can still get yourself forty ounce rosé or muscadet. Be a rebel! Fight the seasonal tide!
TBH, if 2017 marks the era that we officially decide that all alcoholic beverages are sold in aggressively Instagrammable forties, then it will be the best thing to happen to us all year. Cheers to the unofficial beginning of autumn, and to me buying another three bottles of Wine Out for when I inevitably spill this all over everything like the messy klutz I am.