I'm aware that this might be an extremely controversial topic for those among us who are still shuddering from the Send Glitter To Your Enemies promotion that went viral in 2015, but for my fellow unrepentant Powerpuff Girls out there, the new glitter beer trend is just about the best thing to happen since the invention of the disco ball. As reported by Munchies, breweries across the country are employing the use of edible glitter to give their beers an iridescent, surreal gleam that, for lack of a better description, sort of looks like unicorn pee, but in the best possible way.
As someone who was once banned from a roommate's boyfriend's apartment for wearing a pink Hello Kitty tutu that shed glitter all over the couch one Halloween, I personally could not be more excited for it — and once you see the mesmerizing videos that breweries are sharing on social media, even the biggest glitter haters among us will have to concede that this is some next level awesome. One of the glitter brews, created by Bold Missy Brewery in Charlotte, North Carolina, was actually an homage to a '90s icon we all know and love: Lisa Frank.
“What better way to honor her legacy than with glitter?” said Carli Smith, the head brewer at Bold Missy Brewery, to Munchies. And honestly, what better way to honor anyone's legacy than with glitter?
The beer itself, according to Munchies, is a lemon and pink peppercorn, fittingly dubbed "Trapper Keeper" (hit me right in the nostalgia, guys). According to the brewery's Instagram, they even tweaked their logo on the tie-dye stickers to be Lisa Frank-esque, and they'll be available for a limited time.
Although several breweries have 'grammed their sparkly brews in the past few weeks, this is actually far from the dawn of glitter beer — Munchies found that many of the brewers took inspiration from Three Weavers Brewing Company's Alex Nowell, who created an IPA called "Mel's Sparkle Pony" that has a pinkish hue to boot. In 2016, the brewery even came up with another glitter beer for St. Patrick's Day, combining gold and silver edible glitter to their Expatriate IPA.
In case you were concerned for the state of your internal organs, you should know that, yes, the edible glitter involved in these beers is totally safe. There are actually entire lines of edible glitter available for these kinds of shenanigans, in the form of edible luster dust, which is frequently used in decorating with baked goods. You can even hack your own brews and make it at home — the dust is available for $6.15 on Amazon.
And no, you won't pee glitter (if only, though, amirite?). Speaking to Munchies, Erica DeAnda of Minocqua Brewing said, “I think everyone just worries about the peeing glitter out, but it breaks down in your body so quickly that isn’t even an issue." All the bladders out there plagued by the burden of toxic masculinity can relax — you're safe. For now.
Anyway, as surprising as the concept of "glitter beer" might be to some, this is really just a natural progression of the millennial order of things. Once we pioneered glitter lattes and the Starbucks Unicorn Frappuccino, it was clear that our lust for glittery things knew no bounds. In the meantime, I'm personally hoping that glitter beer spawns glitter wine and glitter rosé so I can finally achieve my ultimate destiny and die knowing I have lived my most fulfilled and sparkliest life.