After watching the epic Apple keynote event on Sept. 12, you might be feeling conflicted. There are four new Apple products on the market, and unless you sell some organs, you probably can't afford them all. So, which is the right one for you? Which new Apple product do you need? Which is worthy of your hard-earned money, that will bring you the most joy?
If you're struggling to figure it out nearly as much as I am, you might consider resorting to a system of reasoning that's a bit nontraditional. Whether you're an avid horoscope reader or barely know what your sign means, you might want to consider letting your zodiac personality pick an Apple product for you — because, well, why not? You're stumped already.
Sure, it's totally wacky and slightly nonsensical, but just looking at the product descriptions and personality descriptions side by side will actually help you see the most distinguished differences between them and might actually help you pick the right phone for your temperament. Here, I've put together a product suggestion for each sign, using key zodiac personality traits and product specs that seem to be a match. Of course, if another sign's product suggestion seems to be a better match, follow your bliss.
Aries, you are a leader. You're determined and progressive and the iPhone X is the best of the best, so it's the phone for you. You like to be ahead of the pack so you've got to have the most advanced phone on the market.
Taurus, you're all about simplicity and functionality. You want a new phone, but it doesn't have to be extra. The iPhone 8 is the phone for you because it's an upgrade but it's keeping things simple and familiar, just how you like it.
Gemini, you are full of duality, and you seek products that have multiple uses. The Apple Watch Series 3 is the product for you. It's a function watch, health monitor, fitness tracker and now with cellular, it's a phone, too. If you chose a phone over the watch, you'll probably regret it.
Cancers, you are nostalgic creatures. While you might be allured by the excitement of the new iPhones, you're really better off sticking to what you know, so that you don't get overwhelmed. Opt for the iPhone 8, it's a sure deal for you.
Leo, you are vivacious and ambitious. For you, bigger really is better. Which is exactly why you're going to love the iPhone 8 Plus. For some people, it's too big and too flashy, but for you, it's just the perfect size. Plus, you'll use it as a creative outlet, so the larger screen will be helpful.
Virgo, you're cautious, determined, and always on time. Which is exactly why you need a product that's always with you and always working to keep you on schedule. The Apple Watch Series 3 is going to be your new best friend.
Libras can be intense people. They experience a lot of emotional highs and lows in a day, and they're easily captivated by the new and exciting. For that reason, the iPhone X is the perfect phone for them — mostly because if they don't get it, they'll have seriously debilitating FOMO.
Let's be honest, Scorpios can be egoists. They feel best when they're living up to their own high standards. Considering the fact that the iPhone X revolutionary, there's no question, it's the phone for Scorpios. It will literally make them feel good just having it.
Sagittarians love to be outdoors and disconnected but at the same time, they're loyal and worry about their loved ones all the time. The Apple Watch Series 3 will be the perfect combination between nurturing their outdoor lifestyle while keeping them in touch.
Capricorns are perfectionists. They feel most confident when they're surrounded by high functioning people and objects. There's no other phone for the Capricorn than the iPhone X, they just simply wouldn't settle for less.
Aquarians are great communicators. They like to stay connected and feel good about themselves when they can make the people they love feel loved. The iPhone 8 Plus will give them more room to stay connected on all of their platforms, plus it will allow them to watch their favorite movies and TV shows on their giant screens on the go — a pastime they're attached to.
Pieces can be mistaken for being wishy-washy, when really they't just optimistic dreamers. They're happiest when they're feeling creative, so the iPhone X being the most artist-friendly phone there is, is going to be the perfect choice for them.