How Much Sex Do Happy Couples Have Compared To Unhappy Ones? The Frequency May Not Be That Different, Survey Finds

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You may wonder how much sex other people have compared to how much you and your partner have. If a couple you know says they have sex “a lot,” that could mean different things to different people: Is “a lot” every week? Every day? Multiple times a day? In other words, one couple may think their sex frequency may be “normal” and another couple who has sex more or less may think theirs is “normal.” However, when it comes down to it, there is no “right” or “wrong” or "normal" amount of sex, especially given that everyone has different sex drives and only the two people in the relationship know what amount works best for them.

“Every individual is different in what and how much of it they enjoy,” Dr. Rachel Needle, licensed psychologist and Certified Sex Therapist in West Palm Beach, FL, and the Co-Director of Modern Sex Therapy Institutes, tells Bustle. “Statistics on how often individuals have sex vary based on factors such as age, length of time in a relationship, and definition of ‘sex.’ However, this doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with or pathological about individuals or couples who have sex less or more often than averages.”

All that said, it’s natural to be curious how often other people have sex, especially because we often hear that sex is linked to happiness. But does that mean that having more sex equals a better relationship? eHarmony decided to find out via their inaugural "The Happiness Index: Love and Relationships in America" report which consisted of 2,084 online interviews were conducted among people aged 18+ who were married or in a long-term relationship. "Sex is not correlated with relationship happiness," Grant Langston, eHarmony’s CEO, tells Bustle, emphasizing that happy couples and very unhappy couples weren't too different when it came to sex frequency.

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In the report, they discovered that 62 percent of extremely unhappy people reported having sex daily or weekly, coming in second to the happiest couples in America in terms of frequency. Meanwhile, couples that landed in the middle of the happiness scale are having sex weekly at half that rate and are also the most likely to have no sex at all. "[Sex is] a random element in the satisfaction of relationship," Langston says.

As far as analyzing sex frequency, eHarmony broke it down into several options: daily, weekly, monthly, once every 2-3 months, less often, and never. Across all age groups, the survey found that six in 10 people have sex at least weekly, with frequency decreasing as people get older. But when it comes to sex frequency, how does it vary among different age groups? Here’s the survey’s breakdown of how much sex Millennials are having at least weekly compared to other generations:

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1Younger Millennials (18-24)

Ashley Batz/Bustle

For the younger side of Millennials, eHarmony’s report found that 79 percent of respondents are having sex at least weekly. This age range came in second place, so to speak.

2Older Millennials (25-34)

Andrew Zaeh for Bustle

The 25-to-34-year-olds in the survey make up older Millennials, and they win as far as weekly sex is concerned. Eighty-five percent of them said they have sex at least weekly.

3Younger Gen X (35-44)

Ashley Batz/Bustle

This age range was only slightly behind younger Millennials as far as sex frequency, with 77 percent of them reporting that they have sex at least weekly.

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4Older Gen X (45-54)

Andrew Zaeh for Bustle

As eHarmony discovered, sex frequency decreases with age, and 51 percent of 45-to-54-year-olds said they have sex at least weekly.

5Younger Baby Boomers (55-64)


This age range, too, dropped in terms of sex frequency, with 45 percent of them stating they have sex at least weekly.

6Older Baby Boomers & Beyond (65+)


As far as those aged 65+, 29 percent reported having sex at least weekly.

As you can see, Millennials *are* having more sex than other generations, but it’s good to see that other generations are still having sex, too, and see the value of it in their romantic relationships.

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