How Much Sex Do Happy Couples Have Compared To Unhappy Ones? The Frequency May Not Be That Different, Survey Finds

Ad failed to load

You may wonder how much sex other people have compared to how much you and your partner have. If a couple you know says they have sex “a lot,” that could mean different things to different people: Is “a lot” every week? Every day? Multiple times a day? In other words, one couple may think their sex frequency may be “normal” and another couple who has sex more or less may think theirs is “normal.” However, when it comes down to it, there is no “right” or “wrong” or "normal" amount of sex, especially given that everyone has different sex drives and only the two people in the relationship know what amount works best for them.

“Every individual is different in what and how much of it they enjoy,” Dr. Rachel Needle, licensed psychologist and Certified Sex Therapist in West Palm Beach, FL, and the Co-Director of Modern Sex Therapy Institutes, tells Bustle. “Statistics on how often individuals have sex vary based on factors such as age, length of time in a relationship, and definition of ‘sex.’ However, this doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with or pathological about individuals or couples who have sex less or more often than averages.”

All that said, it’s natural to be curious how often other people have sex, especially because we often hear that sex is linked to happiness. But does that mean that having more sex equals a better relationship? eHarmony decided to find out via their inaugural "The Happiness Index: Love and Relationships in America" report which consisted of 2,084 online interviews were conducted among people aged 18+ who were married or in a long-term relationship. "Sex is not correlated with relationship happiness," Grant Langston, eHarmony’s CEO, tells Bustle, emphasizing that happy couples and very unhappy couples weren't too different when it came to sex frequency.

Ad failed to load

In the report, they discovered that 62 percent of extremely unhappy people reported having sex daily or weekly, coming in second to the happiest couples in America in terms of frequency. Meanwhile, couples that landed in the middle of the happiness scale are having sex weekly at half that rate and are also the most likely to have no sex at all. "[Sex is] a random element in the satisfaction of relationship," Langston says.

As far as analyzing sex frequency, eHarmony broke it down into several options: daily, weekly, monthly, once every 2-3 months, less often, and never. Across all age groups, the survey found that six in 10 people have sex at least weekly, with frequency decreasing as people get older. But when it comes to sex frequency, how does it vary among different age groups? Here’s the survey’s breakdown of how much sex Millennials are having at least weekly compared to other generations:

Ad failed to load

1Younger Millennials (18-24)

Ashley Batz/Bustle

For the younger side of Millennials, eHarmony’s report found that 79 percent of respondents are having sex at least weekly. This age range came in second place, so to speak.

2Older Millennials (25-34)

Andrew Zaeh for Bustle

The 25-to-34-year-olds in the survey make up older Millennials, and they win as far as weekly sex is concerned. Eighty-five percent of them said they have sex at least weekly.

3Younger Gen X (35-44)

Ashley Batz/Bustle

This age range was only slightly behind younger Millennials as far as sex frequency, with 77 percent of them reporting that they have sex at least weekly.

Ad failed to load

4Older Gen X (45-54)

Andrew Zaeh for Bustle

As eHarmony discovered, sex frequency decreases with age, and 51 percent of 45-to-54-year-olds said they have sex at least weekly.

5Younger Baby Boomers (55-64)


This age range, too, dropped in terms of sex frequency, with 45 percent of them stating they have sex at least weekly.

6Older Baby Boomers & Beyond (65+)


As far as those aged 65+, 29 percent reported having sex at least weekly.

As you can see, Millennials *are* having more sex than other generations, but it’s good to see that other generations are still having sex, too, and see the value of it in their romantic relationships.

Ad failed to load
Must Reads

The 5 Rom-Coms You Need To Read This Summer, According To Someone Who Writes Them

'Tis the season for rom-coms. The weather is warm, the sun is shining, and everyone is rocking the flirtiest items in their wardrobe. I don't know about you, but summer always takes me back to my teenage years — and that automatically makes me want t…
By Cristina Arreola

11 Tiny Sunglasses That Will Make You Look Even Cooler Than Kylie Jenner

You know what they say — the tinier the sunglasses, the more stylish the outfit. OK, that's not really a saying, but it seems to be the case these days. Basically every celebrity, model, and It person has been spotted sporting tiny sunglasses as part…
By Sara Tan

9 Ways This Royal Wedding Was Way More Modern Than Past Ones

The newly named Duke and Duchess of Sussex, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, made history with their storybook courtship and wedding. What's more, there are myriad ways the royal wedding 2018 was more modern than previous royal weddings. From deciding…
By Brandi Neal

10 Little-Known British Traditions Meghan Markle Will Learn When She Marries Prince Harry

As an American woman dating a Brit, I am no stranger to the mishaps that can result from the cultural differences between the U.S. and England. And while I'm sure Meghan Markle has a slew of royal traditions to learn, titles to remember, and fancy ha…
By Kristin Magaldi

I've Paid $18,000 To A $24,000 Student Loan, & I Still Owe $24,000

It all became real the summer before my senior year of college. It was 2010, and my home phone still had a cord, which I wrapped around my fingers as I waited not-so-patiently for the apathetic representative on the other end to tell me the bad news …
By Kaitlyn Cawley

12 Personality Quizzes That Will Help You Determine Your Exact Strengths

Learning more about yourself can be tough. It's so easy to observe others to learn what makes them tick, what areas they really excel in, and the things they could be better at. Doing that to yourself, however, is a whole different story. That's exac…
By Jessica Booth

5 Brand New Short Story Collections You Can Finish In One Sitting This Weekend

Since 2013, May has been known by book-lovers by another name: Short Story Month. If you're ready to kick off this year's celebration the right way, make sure to pick up a short story collection to read over the weekend. Modern life moves more than …
By Sadie Trombetta

I Got Styled By 'Queer Eye's Tan France & Realized I Still Have A Lot Of Fashion "Rules" To Unlearn

When I walked into a New York City Express store on May 2 to get styled by Queer Eye's Tan France, I was ready for anything. And I mean truly anything. I am such a massive fan of the show and Tan that if he had instructed me to wrap myself in tin foi…
By Olivia Muenter

It Isn’t Bad To Have A “Princess Fantasy” — Mine Made Me The Woman I Am Today

What do you want to be when you grow up? If you were anything like me as a kid, at some point, the answer to that question was "a princess." Thanks to good old-fashioned gender stereotypes, most little girls born in the '90s (and even now) grew up in…
By Nicole Pomarico

9 Mother's Day Gifts For Your Mom That Also Give Back

Mother’s Day is around the corner, and unless you’re the type who’s got gift-giving on lock months in advance — and seriously, who is that person? — you might be scrambling a bit for great Mother's day 2018 gift ideas. And while it’s important to cho…
By Carolyn de Lorenzo

Here’s How To Get A FREE 30-Minute Facial At Sephora That Sucks Your Pores Clean

Sephora has long been a mecca for both serious and amateur beauty lovers alike, where they not only have makeup artists that help answer questions about products, but free samples to let you play with new collections. But now they have upped the ante…
By Marlen Komar

Kris Jenner Is FINALLY Launching A Makeup Line With Kylie

Maybe you don't have a favorite sister of the Kar-Jenner clan, and that's perfectly fine. The one thing you can't deny, though, is that when it comes power, no one in that family has more than the world famous momager. Now, Kris Jenner x Kylie Cosmet…
By Shea Simmons

This Kendall Jenner “Diva” Moment Is Really Being Taken Out Of Context

The fashion always takes center stage at the Met Gala, but there's usually a little drama, too. And this time, a member of the Kardashian-Jenner family is involved. People are buzzing about how Kendall Jenner shoved someone at the Met Gala, but after…
By Nicole Pomarico

Feel Like You've Seen Everything On Netflix? Add These Movies To Your Watch List

The weekend may feel too far away, but if you're lacking formal plans, a Netflix marathon session is always a good idea. If you're an avid viewer, however, you probably feel like you've seen everything the streaming platform has to offer already. In …
By Ashley Rey

These 4 Zodiac Signs Are Going To Have The Best Luck In Love This May

Spring fever is here, but not all signs in the zodiac are dealt the same dose of lovin'. Some signs are going to have a better love lives than the rest of us in May, because that's just the way the cookie crumbles. According to astrologer Linda Furia…
By Kaitlyn Wylde

Hillary Clinton Says She's Ready To Fight Like A Republican — EXCLUSIVE

Hillary Clinton Is Not Going Away Quietly. Can Hillary Clinton Please Go Quietly Into The Night? Unlike Losers Before Her, Clinton Is Not Going Gently Into the Night. These headlines, which appeared in various news outlets over the course of the last…
By Catherine Thompson and Jenny Hollander

Here's The Very Best Time To Book Your Summer Vacation If You're Trying To Save Money

Summer is a great time to travel, for obvious reasons. The weather is better. Many offices are more lax about time off. If you have kids, they’re out of school. But there’s one very important element that makes summer not a great time to travel: Cost…
By Emma McGowan