How To Wake Yourself Up For The Royal Wedding In The Most On Theme Ways Possible
We're inching ever closer to the day Prince Harry marries Meghan Markle, on May 19 at St. George's Chapel in Windsor, England. It feels like just yesterday Kensington Palace announced the couple were engaged — in reality, it was only six months ago, which is an wildly short amount of time to plan a wedding, but time moves differently when you're a royal and have an army of royal planners to do the work for you. The ceremony starts at noon, U.K. time, which is early over here. So how do you wake yourself up for the royal wedding if you're watching from the U.S.?
Like the 2011 wedding of Kate Middleton and Prince William, Harry and Markle's wedding will be televised, which means we here in La Belle America will be able to watch one of our own tie the knot with the Hot Ginger Prince (don't @ me) firsthand. This is great news for folks who've been crafting their wedding party tiaras and tea sandwiches since Markle and Harry went on their first date, but it is bad news for people who go to an early Pilates class on Sundays and like to spend their Saturdays sleeping in, a.k.a. me. Noon in England is 7 a.m. on the East Coast, and 4 a.m. on the West Coast, and if you want to spot Markle in full wedding dress before the ceremony takes place (and get a glimpse of all the hats people are going to be tweeting about on the way in), you'll have to get up even earlier. Those scones won't bake themselves! Here are some tips to pop yourself right up and in front of your TV.
Set your alarm tone to "God Save The Queen".
The default alarm sound on my iPhone has me conditioned to hit snooze four more times until I hear that my roommate is taking a show and confirm I have no choice but to go back to sleep. But if you change your alarm to "God Save The Queen," i.e. the U.K.'s national anthem, you might manage to psych your brain out enough to FLING yourself out of bed with the strength of the Royal Air Force.
Pretend you are going on a fancy trip and if you're late YOU'LL MISS YOUR FLIGHT.
For me, getting up for work is a Herculean task. But if I have a flight to catch at 7 a.m., and therefore need to be at the airport by 5 a.m., and therefore need to leave my house and find a way to godforsaken La Guardia by 4 a.m., I tend not only to get out of bed early, but too early. Tell yourself you need to make a flight to London, and if you miss it, you'll be trapped at the airport for six hours hoping someone lets you sneak onto a standby flight, and you will lose an entire day of eating Ploughman's lunches in a pub. (It has been a very long time since I've been to London, obviously.) WORKS LIKE A CHARM.
Prepare your caffeinated beverages the night before.
Caffeine is the only way I can do literally anything in the morning— in fact, as I type this, I have only had half a cup of coffee and think I might be dead. These wake up tips are coming to you from BEYOND THE GRAVE. To ensure you're jacked up on enough of nature's best drug to get through an entire wedding ceremony, set your coffee maker up the night before, and if it happens to use an alarm, turn that thing ON so you'll actually wake up to the sweet, sweet smell of brewing joe.
Of course, this is a U.K. event we're talking about, so you might want to swap the coffee out for tea, for accuracy's sake. There's even a royal wedding tea, if you want to stay on theme. Then again, tea has less caffeine than coffee, which is probably why everyone on British TV shows always seems so sleepy.
Set a recording to play, "THE BRITISH ARE COMING, THE BRITISH ARE COMING."
Nothing gets you out of bed faster than the threat of Revolutionary battle. You can substitute this recording with the Hamilton soundtrack.
Remember that this is a once-in-a-lifetime event
Harry and Markle will wed but once, and if you miss it, you will NEVER get to see it happen again.
Or you can DVR it and watch it later, your call.