I’ve always been inspired by the sex positivity of Broad City’s Ilana Glazer and Abbi Jacobson, so when I read that there was a line of Broad City sex toys, I was eager to get my hands (and possibly other parts of my body) on one. Since I heard they were selling out, I decided to go for the Nature's Pocket Kegel Balls, which are probably the most Broad City-inspired products in the whole collection. Aside from building strength in your vagina — Broad City is all about pussy power — the name reflects a joke of Ilana’s: She stores weed in her vagina and calls it “nature’s pocket.”
In case you’re not familiar with kegel balls, they’re round objects you put in your vagina in order to exercise it. Specifically, you do kegel exercises, which involve clenching and unclenching your vagina around them. But they’re also fun just to put in and wear around. Even if they’re not enough to get you off singlehandedly (though they can be nice to have in your vagina in addition to clit stimulation), wearing them around the house can make working from home a lot more fun. (I say this from experience.)
My first reaction when I took these out of their box was that they’re very clunky. When I’ve used kegel balls before, they’ve been completely attached to each other, with a shape and size that makes them go in pretty easily. These ones are only held together by a rubber string that goes around both, and this piece not only makes them a bit lumpy but also means you have to put them in one by one. And they’re pretty big, too. I had to lie on my back and use lube to get the first one in, and the second was even more of a struggle. Honestly, it was kind of painful.
One of my favorite things about kegel balls is that you can walk around with them in and nobody will notice. They’re your little secret. With these, though, I couldn’t really do that. Since they're kind of big and lumpy, it got uncomfortable to walk around in them. Walking with just one in was OK for me, but once I added in the second one, I started to feel it rubbing and pinching against places where I did not want to feel it. And if I just left one in… well, then I had a ball hanging by a rubber string from my vagina, and I’m pretty sure people would have noticed that.
I was just about ready to give up on these after a day, but then I noticed something that salvaged them. The name isn’t just a gimmick: You actually can store things in them. They come with weights in them to give you extra exercise, but you can take the balls out of their rubber string, pull them in half, and stick whatever you want in there.
It’s the same reason I like kegel balls in the first place: What's in there is my little secret.
I don’t happen to share Ilana’s need to store weed, but the idea of storing anything in my vagina is intriguing. It is pretty cool to have my own free, natural, built-in pocket. The ability conjures up some primal feeling of self-sufficiency, even though I have no need for it. Perhaps it’s the same reason I like kegel balls in the first place: What's in there is my little secret. And with these, you can have even more secrets.
If you’re looking to use kegel balls for their intended purpose, I probably wouldn’t recommend these. I’d probably instead recommend the Yarlap, which delivers electric pulses (I swear, that’s not as scary or painful as it sounds) to your vagina to make it contract on its own, no effort necessary.
On the other hand, if you’re looking for a way to carry your keys around when you don’t have pockets or a purse, these just may be for you. Never mind the fact that you’d have to pull something out of your vagina when you arrive at your door. OK, so this idea is wildly impractical. But some things are worthwhile just for the concept.