Being ghosted is the worst. Not because the idea of someone not liking you is totally unbearable, but because it leaves you hanging on and not sure what you should be doing next. It's the uncertainty that is way worse than being rejected. And yet, so many people ghost. In the digital age, it's become an annoyingly common way of getting out of a situation you're not interested in. "It takes strong integrity to face someone and tell them that they are not what you're looking for in a relationship," certified, international dating and relationship expert, Megan Weks tells Bustle. "Sometimes it’s easier to be the one being ghosted than to let someone down."
That being said, there are some times when it's OK to ghost. If someone was inappropriate, made you feel uncomfortable, or is just a general creep then you do not need to give them the time of day. If you feel like it would do you a disservice or put you in a vulnerable position by being in contact, then let it go.
But if it's just because you can't be bothered, it may be time to just face it and not flake. And figuring out what to say shouldn't be that difficult. Whether you want to to be totally honest, give an innocent excuse, or somewhere in between, there are so many ways to handle it. So there's no reason to get all tied up in knots about what you should be sending. Because sending anything is likely better than sending nothing. If you're someone who has a tendency to ghost, try to resist the urge and use these messages instead.
1. Go For Friendship
Only if you genuinely want to be friends, though. If not, it's just another form of leading them on.
2. A Benign Excuse
Sure, it may be not be 100 percent true, but it's a white lie. It's definitive enough that it stop things in its tracks, but it keeps you from saying anything that's going to hurt their feelings.
3. Blame It On You
Sometimes, it's easier just to blame where you are right now. And sometimes it's totally true. Plus, it's something they can't really argue with— you're totally allowed to say you're just not up for something.
4. Owning Up For Ghosting
If you've been mid-ghosting and the person tries to get a hold of you, it's best to own up. Admit you've been a flake and then just let it go.
5. Keep It Casual
If you just want a hookup without any accountability, just say it. That gives them the option of taking you up on it or just move along.
6. Just Go For Honesty
You can just say it. It's harsh, but sometimes it's better to be harsh and truthful rather than lead someone along. It's not your fault that you aren't interested in someone— but it is your fault if you treat them badly.
7. Explain It's Not Going To Work
If the person is coming on too strong, it's easiest to just point out that maybe you want different things. This message is really vague, which means it could open you up to more communication and questions, but sometimes it can do the trick.
There are so many options that are better than ghosting. So if you're not sure, just send a message. Even if they don't like what they hear, they can stop worrying and everyone can move on.