Hi, may I speak to Colonel Sanders? While my calls to you usually involve me crying to a rom-com over a bucket of your fried chicken, on this specific day I would like to discuss your social media manager. Whoever they are needs a raise immediately, and their own pool full of KFC biscuits, and possibly my hand in marriage (I need to know how they feel about the ending of How I Met Your Mother first, you know how it is). Anyway, their work is exemplary — nay, heroic — as evidenced by the recent internet-wide revelation that KFC's Twitter account only follows 11 users, and they're all spices and herbs.
OK, if you don't stan for KFC, a thing you should know is that the famous KFC original recipe involves 11 spices and herbs. The recipe is a long-held secret that goes as far back as the 1930s, and has become a public fascination/legend /inspiration for fan fiction (more on that below) that still perseveres today. Rumors says it involves salt, thyme, basil, oregano, celery salt, black pepper, mustard, paprika, garlic salt, ginger, and white pepper; but if you were hoping that the 11 spices and herbs that KFC's Twitter page follows might confirm or deny those specific varieties and set you on the path to homemade KFC greatness, then get ready for the biggest troll of your life, courtesy of the Colonel himself.
Don't get it yet? I mean, the herb part is blatant enough, but the other five accounts might take half a mo. If you need more than half of one, though, no worries — Twitter user @edgette22 blew the whole thing wide open yesterday, and then subsequently broke the entire internet.
HOLY SOCIAL MEDIA STRATEGY, BATMAN. That is some next-level brand sass. And while we may never know for sure exactly what herbs and spices make up the mythical fried chicken recipe, we at least have this revelation to keep our minds off of never fully achieving true greatness.
People naturally started freaking out, the fever perhaps reaching its full pitch when Wendy's, known rubble-rouser on Twitter, commented on the phenomenon.
Even national treasure/Twitter legend Lin-Manuel Miranda weighed in.
And hopefully it was a satisfying day for the latest member of the Avengers, who truly saved the world this week: KFC's social media manager.
This is far from the first time KFC has made ~waves~ on social media with its modern branding. Personally, the one that first comes to mind is the recent KFC romance novella that was released for Mother's Day, which was essentially KFC fan fiction and the most excited I've ever been to be a human in this Year of Our Twitter Dumpster Fire 2017.
A description, in case you missed out on the magic:
When Lady Madeline Parker runs away from Parker Manor and a loveless betrothal, she finally feels like she is in control of her life. But what happens when she realizes she can't control how she feels? When she finds herself swept into the arms of Harland, a handsome sailor with a mysterious past, Madeline knows she must choose between a life of order and a man of passion. Can love overcome lies? What happens in the embrace of destiny, on the Tender Wings of Desire?
No, Harland does not reveal the secret Kentucky Fried Chicken recipe at the end of said novella (sorry for spoilerzz!!), which does make me question the authenticity of their love, but I digress. It still lit my fire, mostly because anything at the intersection of food and romance is decidedly my brand.
In the meantime, let me tell you what I want, what I really, really want — some Kentucky Fried Chicken in my stomach, and also for KFC's social media manager to have a statue dedicated to them, preferably on the moon.