'Ladies Of London' Star Marissa Hermer Defends That Controversial Parenting Choice
When Ladies of London Season 3 premiered in November, viewers quickly realized this season would be quite different for Marissa Hermer, who endured a high-risk pregnancy with her third child, Sadie, during filming. That said, and as much as she has so far, it doesn't seem like the Bravolebrity is going to escape all of the drama completely, especially based on Tuesday's episode where she made a choice as a mother some of the other women didn't agree with. While chatting with Bustle prior to the episode airing, Marissa Hermer defended her parenting decision and said she doesn't feel like any mom should ever be judged.
"I have a new baby and I’m a mother to a newborn," Hermer says. "I’m not a new mom, but every mother makes different choices in how she will raise her children and how she operates within her family."
As showcased in the most recent Ladies of London episode, Juliet Angus and Caroline Fleming reacted quite strongly to Hermer's choice to fly to The Hamptons to celebrate her husband's mom's 80th birthday with their son Max in tow while leaving her other two children, Sadie and Jake, behind.
"I thought that was kind of strange," Angus said to Fleming after revealing Hermer's choice. "I wouldn't leave a healthy infant behind let alone one that was just in the hospital two days before." As for Fleming, she responded to Angus with, "That's probably why my eyes looked like they were about to pop out of my head." Fleming also said in her private interview, "Everyone else can do whatever they want. I personally wouldn't have done that."
Hermer made it clear in her private interview and during a scene with the family's nurse for Sadie that she was hesitant about going. "I feel sick about leaving." She added, "Of course I've debated canceling this trip for obvious reasons." However, she also wanted to celebrate her husband's mom, in addition to fulfilling a promise to her sons. Because she spent a great deal of time in the hospital and there was so much focus on Sadie, she and her husband promised Max and Jake they would each get their own trip with mom and dad. The Hamptons trip was for Max and Hermer didn't want to cancel it because as she said, "It's important for him."
Even though Angus and Fleming didn't agree with Hermer's choice, the An American Girl in London cookbook author says she doesn't regret filming it for TV for the world to see and judge. "Will I regret showing that? I don’t think so, because I sort of subscribe to the school of thought that there is not one right way to be a mom and everyone does things differently," Hermer says. She also believes that motherhood is one topic that should never be criticized. It is a hard job and not everyone's journey as a mom is exactly the same, especially when you go through a life-threatening pregnancy. Hermer says,
"I think the worst thing to do is judge other mothers, because as a mother when I feel judgment, it’s awful, it’s terrible. We’re all doing the best that we possibly can in this crazy adventure that is motherhood. It’s just a reminder to me and maybe to other people, just don’t judge. You don’t know what battles people are fighting."
Hermer faced a huge battle, too. During her pregnancy with Sadie, she endured a placenta accreta diagnosis. She even had a hysterectomy because of it, as shown in the Season 3 premiere. It was a very serious matter and even her doctor told her that she is lucky to be alive. She tells Bustle that her doctor said her case is something they usually see once every 10 years.
Despite whatever backlash she is now facing for her decision to leave the country and head back to the states for a family gathering without Sadie, Hermer has found comfort in the show. Ladies of London helped her through her pregnancy difficulties and it even acted as a welcome distraction.
Because she already had two seasons of the Bravo series under her belt, she knew the production team, she knew the camera crew, and she knew the executive producers, all of that helped her. "Filming the TV show was the only familiar thing I was doing at the time," she admits. "Going through the emotional and physical experience that was my pregnancy with Sadie and delivery was so unfamiliar to me that it was almost reassuring to have something that I was familiar with. Even if that was a TV show."
Even though she gave birth to Sadie in April, the reality star says she still hasn't gotten over how hard it was. She explains,"It was a very scary time. It was a difficult trauma for me. It was emotional trauma for me. I’m over the physical trauma. Emotionally, to be honest, I don’t know if I’ve really dealt with it, because, you’ll see later on in the show, you don’t just bounce back from something like that, even if you do physically. Emotionally, it takes awhile to work through."
As scary as it all was at the time and as she continues to work through things, Hermer assures me that both she and Sadie are healthier than ever. "Now, we’re great," she says. And that's wonderful to hear.
Ladies of London airs Tuesdays at 10 p.m. EST on Bravo.