Moira's 11 Best 'Schitt's Creek' Lines, Because Her Ridiculous Accent Isn't Even The Greatest Thing About Her
While a rose by any other name would technically smell as sweet, there's something about the incredible character of Moira Rose on Schitt's Creek that can only be embodied by Catherine O'Hara. Every person on the CBC series is a gold mine for priceless one-liners, but no one delivers them better than the family matriarch herself. Moira's best lines in Schitt's Creek are hilarious, yes, but they also pair perfectly with her ridiculous wigs, over-the-top outfits, and unplaceable accent.
While Moira is thoroughly self-absorbed with an outrageous wardrobe to match, she's become a surprisingly sympathetic character as the seasons have worn on. She may not have attended David's (Dan Levy) high school graduation or know her daughter's middle name, but she and Johnny (Eugene Levy) have a genuine connection, and she's fiercely loyal to her family. What's more, her relationship with Jocelyn has grown into a sincere friendship (at least, deep down) and she's even learned to do some good on the town council. So even though Mrs. Rose is always vying for the Jazzagals spotlight, she's certainly made life in Schitt's Creek entertaining. And now that the Moira's Rose's Garden is a neighborhood fixture, her legacy has been permanently secured. Here are some of the endlessly quotable Moira lines that makes this Canadian series so compelling.
The Breakfast of Champions
Season 1, Episode 3: "I'm eating egg whites and hoping the building will collapse," a depressed Moira tells Jocelyn.
Season 1, Episode 5: When Moira exclaims that she would never abandon her children, David says, "Didn't you once take the wrong baby home from preschool?" To which his mother responds, "Alexis looked Chinese as an infant! How many times must I defend myself?!"
The Ultimate Excuse
Season 2, Episode 1: When David runs away, Alexis reminds her parents about the time that she was kidnapped by Somali pirates for a week and no one answered her texts. "I had just had my eyelashes dyed," Moira says defensively. "Everything was cloudy!"
The Galapagonian Foot Bath
Season 2, Episode 4: When the Roses go to an estate sale, Johnny theorizes about who bought his golf clubs, since they were custom-made. "So was my Galapagonian tortoise-shell foot bath," Moira replies. "And now some lonely hoarder is letting his cats poop in it."
The Pelican Comparison
Season 3, Episode 1: When Moira catches David's one-night stand, Jake, stepping out of the shower, she tells her clearly uncomfortable son, "David, stop acting like a disgruntled pelican!"
The Unwanted Legacy
Season 3, Episode 11: Johnny convinces Roland to name a rose garden after his wife, but when she's informed that the other landmarks around town are big hookup spots for teens, she turns down the offer. "As much as I would love to contribute to the population growth of this town by way of teen pregnancies," she tells Roland, "I must decline."
The Fundraiser Anecdote
Season 4, Episode 3: "I know all about being left in the lurch for a fundraiser," Moira tells Jocelyn as they prepare for their Asbestos Fest. "Eva Longoria and I were supposed to perform our ventriloquist act for the Everybody Nose Benefit for Juvenile Rhinoplasty, when she suddenly drops out due to exhaustion? I had to be both puppet and puppeteer!"
The Food Critic
Season 3, Episode 2: "A heavy salad might as well be a casserole," Mrs. Rose tells Alexis during an awkward mother-daughter lunch.
The Stressed Shakespearean
Season 4, Episode 1: Moira turns to her son for support after realizing that she may have killed a man in his motel room. "I don't know what to do, David," she laments. "The last time I felt this emotionally encumbered, I was playing Lady Macbeth on a Crystal Skies cruise ship during Shakespeare at Sea Week!"
The Hypocritical Advice
Season 4, Episode 4: "Gossip is the devil’s telephone," Moira tells Twyla, after gossiping at length about her daughter's love life. "Best to just hang up."
The Sacrilegious Entrance
Season 4, Episode 5 After a rumor spreads online that Moira has died, she appears, Christ-like, at the Jazzagals rehearsal. "Fear not," she tells the stunned women. "She hath risen!"
Fortunately for Schitt's Creek aficionados, the beloved series returns to Pop on Wednesday, Jan. 16, which means there will soon be even more Moira-isms to add to the ever-growing list. Cue the Tina Turner.