We're in between seasons of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette right now, so you know I'm just itching to use the phrase "for the wrong reasons." Luckily, I got the perfect opportunity with Nick Viall's The Polished Gent ad, which is hilarious... for the wrong reasons. The Polished Gent has been around since 2016 and appears to be both fronted and backed by Nick Viall, who described it on The Ellen Show as "a Birchbox for men's grooming supplies like hair and skin." So... a Birchbox Man. Which exists. But do you know what the Polished Gent has that Birchbox Man doesn't have? This commercial.
To quote Stefon from SNL, this Polished Gent commercial has everything: a nondescript magic box, the phrase "I think I look young as f*ck," Old Jim, an invisible snake, a miraculous transformation, getting your torso squirted with water while you're talking, and no actual shots of any products.
It seems to be modeled after those irreverent, almost meta Old Spice commercials, and it's certainly memorable, because this ad will definitely stick in my brain for a long time to come. Just maybe not for the reasons they had in mind.
They were probably hoping I'd be piqued with excitement to see what products Nick Viall would endorse after teasing this on the company's website:
Since my mid-20s, I have put more time than I would like to admit into keeping a youthful appearance. Most of that time was spent just buying random products hoping some of them might actually work! Sadly, that method resulted in a huge amount of time and money wasted. A handful of products really stood out over the years and I am excited to share them with you.
But instead I'm here wondering things like (a) what precisely they're releasing on May 8, (b) if everyone's gonna get one of those weird wooden boxes, (c) and whether they really think I've forgotten about Nick Viall's haircut, pre-Paradise. I trust now-Nick to suggest grooming products, but then-Nick is an entirely different matter.
If you really want to sell me something Nick Viall-themed, give me ab oil or give me nothin'. Or, alternately, maybe just give me some more details about what exactly is going on here. Otherwise, I'll just enjoy this ad for the sheer fun Nick Viall seems to be having being in it.