When it is time to talk about masturbation? How do you do it? As you can imagine, many parents feel nervous and uncomfortable when it comes to talking to their children about sex. But some people like to jump in with both feet. Like, really jump in. And then film it for all of us to see.
What am I talking about? Well, basically, the the folks over at The Cut have decided to live out your worst nightmare and put it to film — they got parents to explain masturbation to their children and, as you can imagine, what follows is all of the cringing. It's part of their Parents Explain series and it is, on the one hand, really effing cool, I have to give these parents credit for being open, frank, and sex-positive. It's really amazing and important, especially because a lot of children masturbate without really understanding what they're doing. But watching these parents stumble over talking about it and the kids look horrified is hilarious and amazing. These children are the definition of I CAN'T EVEN. They can't even. They can't even at all.
Honestly, you should watch the whole video because it is very much worth your time. But you can get a quick preview of the rollercoaster of facial expressions and my favorite moments:
These Two Who Start Off So Happy
Get ready, kids. Life comes at you fast.
This Boy Who Is Having None Of It
He made pretty much this sad, uncomfortable face the whole damn time.
These Attempts At Hand Gestures
The more she tries to act it out, the worse it gets. Can't make eye contact at all.
She's trying to point out a clitoris. It is not going well.
This Kid's Reaction To A Dildo
"That's big, that's huge, that's not gonna fit!" He seems genuinely concerned.
And This Important Message
"That's why you don't need a boy, you can get a penis anywhere!" You are correct, Mom. You are very correct.
Finally, The Ultimate Exchange
This kid gets a rude awakening hearing the truth about the mom's back massager:
"I think you found mine once — I told you it was a back massager."
"THAT WAS A BACK — THAT WAS — I REALLY THOUGHT THAT WAS A BACK MASSAGER!" He may never get over it.
It's a bold move, but an important one. Normalizing sex at an early age and making sure kids know there's nothing wrong with exploring their bodies. Sure, it may be awkward AF— but it's definitely worth it.