Warning: This article contains information about sexual assault, which some may find triggering. The main stage was lined with teary-eyed queens on Thursday night's episode of RuPaul's Drag Race after Blair St. Clair opened up about being sexually assaulted, before sadly being eliminated from Season 10. "I've come from some really dark moments in my life," she told the judges. "And I want to lighten them up and become more positive. I urge to find daintiness, because I feel dirty at times," she said at the time. Now, in an interview with Bustle, Blair shares what it was like being so vulnerable on national television, and why that felt like the right time to open up.
Following a "Hats Incredible" themed runway show and an improv-style maxi-challenge, the queens awaited critiques from the judges, who eventually expressed their disdain for Blair's performance as "too sweet." Their feedback hit home for her. She started to get emotional, and told them about her experience as a survivor.
"I think that there comes a time when your heart is ready to speak before your mind even knows it," Blair says in an interview with Bustle post-elimination about why she was ready to open up. "And I think I was in that point of time where my heart was ready to open up." She says she is so grateful for her Season 10 cast mates who were so supportive, including RuPaul.
"RuPaul is someone that always stood out to me as such an amazing human being," Blair says. "So meeting RuPaul, first and foremost was incredible, but then for him to offer me so much kindness, love, support was an incredible thing for me because all I felt from [him] was love, and that’s exactly what I needed at the time."
Blair says that being on Season 10 of Drag Race taught her the importance of self-love, and that it can only come from herself. "I think a lot of us forget our reasoning for why we auditioned in the first place," she says, noting that being in the public eye leaves many queens seeking validation from others that they're good enough, as people and as drag queens. "What I learned most about myself in the past six months after filming the show, is that I really truly validate myself. Self-validation comes from self love ... and I think that’s the biggest lesson I’ve learned is that I don’t need today, the validation from society to tell me that I’m good enough."
She was the first queen on Drag Race to hail from Indiana, and she says that she received mixed feedback from her home state after being on the show. But, she's not worried about the naysayers. "If one person is doing well or one person is succeeding, we should back that person up entirely and love them and help them through it because, inevitably, if one person succeeds, that opens a door for many many more people to succeed," she says.
Whether or not she continues to garner support from her home city of Indianapolis, she will always have the support of her Season 10 sisters. "All 14 of us have created such a bond, and they mean a lot to me because they are more than just entertainers and beauty personalities. They are human beings with true emotions and feelings and thoughts," Blair says. "and their thoughts, emotions, and feelings mean a lot to me."
But who does she think will be the Season 10 queen of all queens? "I'm rooting for Miz Cracker," she says. "She’s a huge contender and competitor, and she’s one of my best friends."
That should come as no surprise though, considering they've expressed their love for each other more than once on social media. After Thursday night's episode aired, Miz Cracker tweeted, "The best thing I gained from Drag Race was
@BlairStClair’s friendship. Shantay, you stay. #blairsthair." Blair replied with, "Ugh. MY HEART." Spinoff featuring nothing but the pure and beautiful friendship between these two, please!
Although she may have not won Drag Race, there are still big things in store for Blair's future. She is now traveling and doing drag full-time, and she just released a single called "Now or Never" that she co-wrote.
"It’s a beautiful story about the black and white haziness of life that I was living in, and me finally taking charge and taking light," she says. "It’s a really nice piece of closure that I’ve had, and I’m excited to share that with everyone."
And, she has so much support on this post-show journey thanks to her Drag Race sisters and fans everywhere.
If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, call the National Sexual Assault Telephone Hotline at 800-656-HOPE (4673) or visit online.rainn.org.