You sometimes hear that tantric sex is a good way to spice up your sex life or deepen your relationship, but the whole thing sounds pretty complicated, both physically and mentally. But there are some simple tantric sex moves you can try without any sexual or spiritual expertise. These techniques will not only add variety to your sex life but also help you feel closer.
Tantra, which means "sacred sexuality," originated in what is currently India during the first millennium, sex researcher and educator Dr. Markie Twist tells Bustle. It can have a number of benefits, including "integration in oneself and with one's partner, greater intimacy and a deeper sense of connection to one's partner, a build up excitement and desire ... and a heightening of senses," she says.
With practice, tantra can even let you experience multiple orgasms or full-body orgasms, Antonia Hall, M.A., a psychologist, relationship expert, and author of The Ultimate Guide to a Multi-Orgasmic Life, tells Bustle. "The main key to Tantra is to be fully in the moment and take your time," she says. "The body is wired for pleasure. More pleasure than most of us ever tap into."
But it's not just a sexual practice. Tantra is a way of life, says Hall. Instead of advocating abstinence as the path to enlightenment, tantric philosophy says we can access the divine through our bodies. And when it's brought into the bedroom, tantra can make your relationship more meaningful.
Here are a few things to try if you want to enjoy the benefits of tantric sex.
Tantra is based on controlling your breath, since that's what you use to move energy through your body. So, a good way to get started is to sit facing each other, either apart or on your partner's lap, and breath together with the same rhythm for five minutes. Markie advises breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth while looking into each other's eyes. "The practice not only fosters emotional connectivity and intimacy, but it can lead to mutual orgasms," says Hall.
2The Yab Yum
For this super-intimate sex position, your partner sits down, either cross-legged, with their legs out, or at the end of a bed or couch. Then, you sit in their lap while gazing into each other's eyes and breathing in sync. This position enhances intimacy, increases G-spot stimulation, and can help your partner last longer, says Hall.
For this sex position, sit on your partner's lap and try to create a mirror image of each other, with every body part touching. Your chests and stomachs should touch each other, and you can also hold hands. "This position helps to circulate and exchange energy," says Hall. "It's said to hold one of the secrets to longevity."
Whatever moves you try, make sure to approach your tantric sex practice with the right attitude. "Remember to relax and let go of expectations," says Hall. "Make the goal to experience more pleasure. Sexuality is a mental process more than anything else, so if you're too in your head about end goals, you'll trip yourself up. Breathe and enjoy the exploration."