The 9 Personality Traits People Find Most Endearing
While there are so many endearing personality traits, some really stand out for their ability to draw people in. These are the traits that make you easy to talk to, fun to be around, and that bring out the best in others. And if you have them — or develop them over time — you might find that you can be charming and make connections in pretty much any situation.
"Many of these traits make people feel comfortable or like a new version of themselves," Jeannie Assimos, chief of advice at eharmony, tells Bustle. "They forget their troubles and can focus on learning more about you or being in the moment. People like that feeling."
If you naturally have some of these traits, you might notice that you connect easily with others. But it's also possible to emulate these habits and practice them, while you're out and about. "Most traits people find endearing help those with them get ahead in life because people are attracted to them — in a personal and professional setting," Assimos says. "They want to be around these traits because they bring out the best in them or make them feel good."
It's always best to be yourself, of course. But it can also be fun to try out a few endearing traits, as well. Read on for ones people tend to find endearing, according to experts, as well as how to bring them out in yourself.
Any trait you may have that sets you apart will undoubtedly draw people to you. So if you're ever tempted to tamp down a fun or unique trait, for fear of standing out, you may want to embrace it instead.
"People love unique personalities," licensed psychotherapist Christine Scott-Hudson, MA, LMFT, ATR, tells Bustle. "By allowing yourself to be genuinely, authentically you, you are giving permission for everyone around you to be themselves, as well (and that’s pretty endearing)."
"People who are agreeable are simply easier to get along with, accommodating, solicitous, warm, and friendly," licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Ramani Durvasula, tells Bustle. And it's a trait anyone can emulate, if they like.
While you don't have to be agreeable all the time, if you're looking to be more accommodating in a certain situation, Dr. Ramani says you can do this by compromising with others, while letting go of any rigidity you might hold, just for a minute. In doing so, it will be possible to have deeper and healthier connections.
"Humor helps people smile and forget, even for a moment, about any troubles or issues they are having," Assimos says, which is why dropping a well-timed joke, or making a funny observation, is something so many people adore.
And wittiness often falls into this same category. "Wit keeps people on their toes and makes them want to hear more," Assismos says. It's defined as mental sharpness and inventiveness, and it's what gives some folks the ability to say things off-the-cuff, tell great stories, and captivate those around them.
To be more witty, often all it takes is a firm grasp on the present moment, which includes a desire to listen. You can't make keen observations, after all, if you aren't paying attention.
"Charisma enchants people and charms them," Assimos says, which is why it's a trait you can amp up when meeting someone new. To give it a go, simply try to be present and live in the moment. Ask questions, and really listen to what others have to say. Make good eye contact, and give them your full attention. This is what charisma looks like, and it's all sorts of endearing.
Loyalty "means honesty, commitment, follow-through, steadfastness, and it generates a sense of safety and ease and confidence in others," Dr. Ramani says. "You can steal it for yourself by [...] being honest, not flaking, [and] showing up on time." People appreciate this trait, and it helps create better relationships.
When someone is being honest, they tend to be open, vulnerable, and avoid playing games, Dr. Ramani says. They also communicate directly and avoid manipulation, which are all things that can make a person easy to like.
Another personality trait that can be quite endearing is a healthy dose of humility, which includes being humble without being self-deprecating, Dr. Ramani says. Humility allows others to connect with you, as it gives them a turn to speak, Dr. Ramani says, and lets everyone feel as if they have a place.
"This is the biggest and best of good traits," Dr. Ramani says, as it means caring about and attempting to understand the experiences and feelings of other people. To be a little more empathetic, all you have to do is remain aware of your impact on other people, she says, check in with them, and listen.
Openness can be incredibly charming, since it means you're flexible and down for new experiences and points of view, Dr. Ramani says. In order to snag this trait for yourself, and practice it more regularly, simply be willing to try new things, she says, and hear new perspectives.
These traits are often viewed as charming and endearing because they set the stage for better conversation, which tends to lead to healthier and more understanding relationships — while also helping you to stand out.