Queen Elizabeth may be one of the most powerful women in the realm, but on Tuesday, she faced off against a certain someone I now consider to be her greatest foe: Cruachan IV — a four-year-old Shetland pony. Her Majesty was doing a routine inspection of her troops at the time, innocently minding her own business. Then, disaster struck. The cute little horse pooped in front of the Queen and threw off her usually stoic facade.
Her Majesty is currently in Scotland, where she will be staying for the rest of the summer, residing in Balmoral Castle, the most extra of holiday homes. As she’s only just arrived in the country and she’s a stickler for tradition, she met with the 5 Battalion The Royal Regiment of Scotland to inspect the troops. However, one of its fuzzy soldiers was not on his best behaviour.
Yes, Cruachan IV, the battalion’s mascot, may have dressed the part in a snazzy tartan coverall but as the Queen came close, he flicked his tail up and took the biggest, longest dump, as if it were no biggie.
Judging by the reaction of everyone in close proximity, I have a sneaky feeling it stank too. Even Her Majesty appeared to struggle with the stench, as she apparently covered up her nose and made a hasty retreat. That wasn’t before she stared Cruachan IV dead in the eye and said, according to the Daily Mail: "Here we go again."
(Barring her incredible expression, my favourite part about the second photograph here is how the soldier to her right can’t keep it together.)
If, unlike me, you have not been avidly following the saga of Cruachan IV versus the royal family — allow me to fill you in. This is not the first time the Queen and Cruachan IV have butted heads.
Last year, during the same battalion inspection, the Queen was given a bouquet of posies while visiting Stirling Castle and then was asked to meet the tiny pony. As she wandered over to politely introduce herself, Cruachan was not having a second of it and chomped on her bouquet. You can see the amazing, glorious here:
The Queen’s reflexes were on point however as she snatched her flowers away and hid them behind her back, snapping: "Go away!" Even though she tried to smooth things over afterwards with a quick stroke, she set the groundwork for a feud that would only escalate.
Earlier this February, the very same pony took things way too far when he tried to devour her beloved grandson Prince Harry. Just watch the shocking scenes here:
Wow, what is Cruachan IV's problem?
Anyway, speaking of Prince Harry, he and Meghan Markle will reportedly be heading up to join the Queen at Balmoral Castle this summer, according to PEOPLE. While I’m sure Markle and Her Majesty definitely bonded over their weekend away together on the royal train, I'm hoping that by the end of this rumoured vacation ,the two will be be BFFs for life.
At the very least, maybe Queen Elizabeth will find Markle a strong ally when she inevitably faces off against Cruachan IV next. She’s going to need all the help she can get against that adorable, tiny monster.