Depending on the issues you've encountered thus far in life, you might be wondering whether or not it's difficult for people to get along with you. Have you been struggling in your friendships? Has more than one person called you abrasive? If so, it might take a round or two of therapy to get to the bottom of the issue, as well as some soul searching, and maybe even a peek at your zodiac sign to figure out what's what.
"Astrology gives us insight into our personality so we might grow and evolve," professional astrologer Rachel Lang tells Bustle. "One gift Astrology offers us is context. It can help us identify polarities or challenges in our personalities and bring them into balance. When we become aware of our limitations, we can modify our behaviors and better sustain lasting, healthy relationships.”
It's all about looking inward, and being honest with yourself when it comes to any unlikable traits you might have. While you shouldn't lie awake at night worrying about whether or not everyone likes you, it doesn't hurt to be aware of the habits and traits that might make you difficult to get along with. Whether we're talking about making new friends or keeping old ones, having a healthy and amicable relationship, or simply living peacefully with roommates, this knowledge really is power.
Read on for Lang's take on the most unlikable traits and quirks common to each zodiac sign, so you can decide whether or not you'd like to make a change.
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
You're able to be assertive in pretty much every situation. But there are times when you can take it a bit too far. "[Aries] can assert themselves in ways that make them seem a bit pushy," says Lang. "They’re just stating their needs or wants, but others might consider their coercive tactics a little aggressive."
In the same vein, you have an intense competitive steak that can sometimes throw people off. "They are natural born leaders and find their way to the top position. This is great in aiding them in reaching levels of success, but they could inadvertently push others away."
Taurus (April 20 – May 21)
As a Taurus, I bet you've been called stubborn once or twice. This is a handy trait when it comes to committing to a goal, so don't let it go. But Lang warns against letting it get in the way of your relationships.
Since people and circumstances change, it's important to roll with the proverbial punches and occasionally approach life with a more relaxed stance. If you can't, it can create problems and arguments along the way.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
You definitely have the gift of gab, and can spin a yarn like no other. "However, Gemini may say too much, and close friends could question whether or not Gemini is trustworthy." So be careful about spilling secrets, or getting carried away when telling stories, as it can quickly turn into gossip.
"Because their minds work so fast, they may speak out of turn or betray a confidence on accident. They could suffer from the classic 'foot-in-mouth syndrome." And that's not very likable.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
You're a saver, not a spender. And that's great. But your frugal ways can be misunderstood, especially when it comes to doling out emotions. "Cancer can withhold emotion in relationships or be somewhat reserved, giving others the impression they are not generous." But that's only because you're protective of your generous heart. If others don't know that, or don't understand why you're holding back, it can give off the wrong impression.
Leo (July 22 – August 22)
As you know, you love to be the center of attention, and can often be found surrounded by friends at parties. However, this tendency also means you have a flare for the dramatic. And when you don't know how to rein that in, it can quickly burn out your friends. "When life turns upside-down, they tend to draw others in for support, but this can feel all-consuming for their friends."
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Virgos are known for their love of perfection, organization, and orderliness. But (you guessed it) this trait can be overwhelming for the people in your life. "They hold themselves and others up to nearly impossible standards," Lang says. "This can challenge relationships because we are human; no one is perfect."
As a result, you might also be in the habit of criticizing others, which can be difficult to deal with, for obvious reasons. But this tendency can be reeled in. "Virgo makes lasting relationships when they learn how to manage their critical minds, to relax, and enjoy connecting with others."
You're a people-pleaser, through and through, and hardly ever use the word "no." But you always have the bad habit of failing to follow through with your long list of promises. "Libra might tell you 'yes' and then flake out at the last minute, without a good explanation. Libra never wants to be difficult to get along with. Nor do they want to hear your disappointment when they tell you they can’t go out."
Your heart might be in the right place, but this trait can make you difficult to get along with. It's much better to say no, and not disappoint others in the long-term, than it is to be likable in the moment by always say "yes."
Even though you don't like to admit it, be honest — you can be a bit controlling. And this has a lot to do with the way you think. "[Scorpios] have fixed ideas about what people should or should not do. Rules, if you will. If others don’t follow suit, [they] can find ways to retaliate." This can even lead to manipulation, which is, unfortunately, your go-to tactic for getting what you want.
It's also common for Scorpios to have trust issues, and that can come back to bite you, especially since you're always suspiciously checking in on everyone. "They test others and investigate to make sure no one is out to get them." And that can get old quick.
The good news is you're pretty easy to get along with. "I mean, when your ruling planet is Jupiter, you have optimism and enthusiasm. Who wouldn’t want to be your friend?"
But if someone lies to you, your black and white thinking can spell the end of that relationship. "They value friendships but don’t have time for drama or deceit. At times, they would rather lose a friend than feel constantly pulled down or mistrusting." Of course, it's up to you to decide your limits. But do know that some people deserve to be forgiven.
If you're having relationships troubles, it could be due to your sign's cold and detached nature, as well as your bad habit of pointing out the negative in others.
You also likely work hard, which is great. But this trait can prevent you from truly connecting with others. "Ruled by the planet Saturn, they work hard and can be single-minded when reaching towards a goal. Saturn is the task master of our solar system, and Capricorn feels this influence!" To counteract these tendencies, Lang tells me it can help to use techniques such as positive affirmations, to help infuse more positivity into your everyday life.
You have a mind of your own, and that's obviously fantastic. But do watch out for signs you're getting set in your ways. "They can seem selfish because of this. The truth, however, is that Aquarius is extremely open-minded and thinks outside the box. Their opinions or ideas only seem fixed because they have tried and tested their theories and reached solid conclusions, ones from which they don’t like to budge."
When it comes to winning people over, you have a knack for thinking about others, especially when it comes to helping them out. If you go too far, though you can burn yourself out and need to recharge — which can be difficult for others to understand.
You have big dreams and even bigger ideas, and that sure does come in handy when keeping a positive state of mind. This dreamlike quality can, however, become annoying for the other people in your life. "They can have one foot in reality and one out. This can frustrate others — especially good friends." So be aware of your approach, when it comes to finding a balance. As Lang tells me, it can help to apply more practical steps when it comes to realizing your dreams.
That doesn't mean you have to change, or that any of these qualities are inherently bad. They can, however, push people away in some instances. So when it comes to winning people over and being easy to get along with, a little self-awareness can go a long way.
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