It's actually pretty difficult to keep track of all the hookups and couplings within the Vanderpump Rules cast, but there are plenty of pairings that stand out from the crop, and I don't mean that in a good way. For every cute coupling like Tom Sandoval and Ariana Madix, there are plenty that make the list of the worst Vanderpump Rules relationships ever.
Fortunately for viewers, a lot of the worst relationships on the show ended up making for the best TV. So even though love couldn't go the distance for most of these couples, there were plenty of iconic story lines for Vanderpump Rules.
I hate hating on anyone else's relationship and I totally get that we don't see everything as viewers, but just based on the footage that made the cut, there have been plenty couples that strayed very far from the hashtag #RelationshipGoals. But, like I said, if we are looking at the (vodka) glass half full, a "bad relationship" makes for "great TV," so it's not too insulting to put them on this list. (Or at least I hope not.)
Every relationship goes through its ups and downs. Unfortunately (or fortunately), for reality TV stars, all of the "downs" were caught by the cameras and broadcast on television. These are some of the most tumultuous, dramatic, and just plain wrong relationships in the history of Vanderpump Rules.
1. Jax & Stassi
I hate putting the original king and queen of Vanderpump Rules on here because I lived for the up-and-down relationship between Jax Taylor and Stassi Schroeder. Their hot mess of a relationship is what made the first couple of seasons absolutely amazing, and I will be forever grateful. Nevertheless, the cheating, fights at work, desperate tattoos, and the the former couple's tendency to bring every other person from the cast into their arguments was just way too much for any real life couple. Unfortunately, being reality TV perfection does not always translate into being an ideal couple off-screen.
2. Kristen & James
I don't feel like anyone was a fan of Kristen Doute and James Kennedy getting together on Vanderpump Rules. It was very clearly a rebound relationship for Kristen after her breakup with Tom Sandoval. I'm not saying that there weren't genuine feelings between the two of them, but I don't think anyone was exactly "rooting" for these two to make it. Not to mention that it was rough watching Kristen serve as James's human ATM and the two of them getting into violent, drunken spats. This relationship was a disaster all-around. Thankfully Kristen is in a self-described "perfect relationship" with Brian Carter these days.
3. Stassi & Frank
This is definitely a throwback reference for anyone who has been watching Vanderpump Rules from the beginning. Stassi rebounded from Jax in Season 1 by dating Frank and no one was into it. Stassi's parents weren't feeling Frank. Lisa Vanderpump fired Frank from SUR. The whole Vanderpump Rules cast turned against Stassi after Frank told her that Jax impregnated someone in Vegas because they refused to believe a story that turned out to be true when Jax admitted it during the season finale. (Although Jax claimed on Twitter that the unnamed woman lied about being pregnant for money.)
Anyway, Frank and Stassi's relationship was way too forced and drove a major wedge in the cast. Still, as much as I hated it, this coupling definitely drove a lot of the action in the first season and I will always appreciate it. I wonder what Frank is up to these days...
4. Jax & Laura-Leigh
This relationship was a quick one during Season 1, but it really was iconic. Jax rebounded from Stassi by dating fellow SUR staffer Laura-Leigh. This couple was just way too much. They were hooking up all over the place, including the restaurant, and they were just way over the top. Laura-Leigh also thought that she was a formidable opponent for Stassi, which was tough to watch. It all culminated with Jax going to Laura-Leigh's AA meeting, dumping her immediately after, and Laura-Leigh going off on the most infamous Pump Rules rant of all time. She very loudly talked about their sex life in the middle of SUR and then suddenly left the show to pursue her acting career.
5. Stassi & Patrick
I know that Stassi's ex Patrick Meagher never actually appeared on the show, which is only one reason this relationship did nothing for me as a viewer. First off, this relationship is why Stassi moved to New York and left the show for a little bit. Second, all we got from it was Stassi bragging about how good their relationship was and then later Stassi crying about it. Aside from me disliking this dude for upsetting the seemingly unbreakable Queen Stassi, I'm mostly just annoyed that we never really got any of this on film, so it was kind of a waste of time for the viewers.
6. Kristen & Sandoval
It seems like the relationship between Kristen and Sandoval was lifetimes ago, but it really was a big part of the beginning of the show. The relationship itself wasn't super awful in comparison to the ups and downs between the other couples on the show, but the breakup really felt like it went on forever and ever. Kristen made it her life's mission to expose Tom for allegedly hooking up with "Miami Girl" and even got fired from SUR after she brought this rando into the restaurant. (Sandoval repeatedly denied ever hooking up with her.) Plus, Kristen admitted to cheating on Tom with Jax while Tom was in the same room, which is all kinds of weird.
Thankfully, this relationship is in the past. It was very awkward watching Tom be blindly loyal to Kristen and trying to make it work. He is in a way better relationship with Ariana ― at least from what I can tell as a person who doesn't know any of these people and just watches this show obsessively.
7. Scheana & Shay
Scheana was all about her wedding to Mike Shay, but we didn't catch too much of the actual marriage. They say that opposites attract and I really was rooting for this one to work, but it just seemed like Shay was in the background and Scheana was such a star. Plus, Scheana seemed overwhelmed by Shay's issues with sobriety. And I'll never forget Scheana's remarks about how it would be hard for her to be with someone who was completely sober. It just did not seem like the most on point match and I'll leave it at that.
8. Schwartz & Katie Pre-Engagement
The relationship between Tom Schwartz and Katie Maloney was awkward to watch for a few seasons. I will never forget the scene when Schwartz dumped a drink over Katie's head during Stassi's birthday. I also felt vicariously embarrassed for them both when Schwartz gave Katie a "ring on a string" at Scheana's wedding instead of actually proposing to her. Now that Tom is fully committed and married to Katie, I am rooting for them to make it as a functional and happy couple.
The funny thing about Vanderpump Rules, and reality TV in general, is that the couples who are "the worst," are usually the best when it comes to what the viewers enjoy watching. So I really do love all of the Pump Rules couples and I bet that I'm not the only fan who feels this way.