Holy homemade goat cheese balls, I hope Vanderpump Rules legend Kristen Doute ends up on Catfish one day. (I also hope I get around to trying Doute's homemade goat cheese balls recipe one day.) Now, this dream crossover is not a new idea, but that doesn't make it any less perfect. And I was reminded of this dream crossover on Wednesday when someone tweeted at Doute about the MTV series.
“Just saw there is a guest investigator on @CatfishMTV which totally opens the possibility for @kristendoute to come on!” wrote @QueenyRap. “Please @NevSchulman.” The Pumper shared this post, adding “#KristenForCatfish.”
Doute’s expressed interest in being on the TV show before, and Catfish’s own Nev Schulman has favorited at least one of those tweets. Nothing came of it, but at least it's something?
Catfish is a show about using the internet to uncover the truth behind online identities. Doute, who is currently working on a book about how to e-snoop on significant others, has boasted about her internet sleuthing skills for years. “I love a good stalking session, I love to investigate,” she told New York Magazine in Dec. 2016. “It’s like my favorite thing, especially on social media, and I have a faithful boyfriend who does not fill that void.” I'm not being hyperbolic when I say this would be a match made in reality TV heaven.
Sure, her specialty is using online activity to bust an unfaithful beau, not figuring out if someone is "catfishing" someone else. However, I have zero doubts in my mind that her skills would come in handy when trying to figure out the truth behind someone’s online profile. As anyone who’s watched all five seasons of Pump Rules knows to be true, Doute and the internet are an unstoppable duo (e.g., the Uber receipts, Miami Girl).
Also? She happens to be really great at television. Whether she’s collecting her mail from an ex-boyfriend, cussing out her boss in front of customers, putting a mini bottle of booze in the pocket of her bridesmaid dress during the final fitting, taking a kickboxing class with Jax Taylor, confronting her best friend’s fiancé about an old rumor after a long day of partying, or simply sucking down a cigarette in the SUR alley, Doute always brings the fire.
She’d be a helpful and entertaining guest star. What more could any of us want?
Come on, Schulman. Come on, Max Joseph. Come on, MTV. Let the Doutemeister flex her e-detective muscle on Catfish.