Life

This Is The Boring ‘Game Of Thrones’ Job You’d Have Based On Your Zodiac Sign If Westeros Was Real

by Nina Kahn
HBO

Everyone is so obsessed with HBO's Game Of Thrones that it's hard not to think about the characters from the show that you identify with most. And the mythology of the show is so complex and extensive that it's easy to get carried away imagining what it would actually be like to live in the mystical realm of the Seven Kingdoms. Do you see yourself toiling away in King's Landing? Bundling up in Winterfell? Roughing it in Essos? Maybe just sailing the open seas?

In any case, it's obviously fun to think about which Game Of Thrones character you'd be. But honestly, as much as we'd all like to believe we'd be a brave Daenerys or a badass Brienne or a maybe a member of the Stark dynasty, the more likely scenario is that we'd just be a regular ol' non-royal person living in Westeros, working day in and day out at their everyday,small folks' job. No shame in the "lowborn" game!

Naturally, we can turn to our zodiac signs to figure out exactly what not-so-exciting Westerosian life path we would have, had we been born in the GoT universe. Here's what boring Game Of Thrones job you would have, based on your zodiac sign. Cause honestly, as much as we'd like to be born a dragon, we're not all that special.

Aries: Squire

Ruled by Mars, Aries love action — and given that squires have the potential to eventually become knights (and do, occasionally, see some action on the battlefield), it's definitely the common-person job for a fearless Aries. A squire's day to day life looks involves things like running errands for their masters and tending to various needs around the property, but the glimmer of potential for knighthood would keep an Aries motivated.

Taurus: Baker

Taurus' are hardworking and absolutely love earthly pleasures and comforts (like warm, nourishing food!) — so it makes sense that they would gravitate toward a small folk career working with the most comforting food of all: baked goods. Baking bread may not be the most exciting GoT life path, but as an earth sign with an eye for detail, they're sure to be precise with their measurements and enjoy the fruits (breads?) of their labor.

Gemini: Little Birds

Geminis are chatty, curious, quick-witted, and have the uncanny ability to shapeshift and blend into any social group — making them ideal "little birds," the youngsters who serve as spies for Varys. Smooth talkers, they're adept at gaining information and doing it inconspicuously — if anyone's going to get you talking with you realizing what you're divulging, it's a Gemini — and they're clever and quick, so expect them to read a letter over your shoulder.

Cancer: Cook

Cancers are known for being the most maternal sign of the zodiac. They're naturally caring, nurturing, and domestic — so playing the role of a cook in Westeros makes total sense. Cancers are happiest when they're taking care of others, and boy oh boy, do our beloved GoT characters love to eat. Any of our faves would probably be stoked to have a Cancer in the kitchen, whipping up rich, medieval delights.

Leo: Tavern Keeper

Leos love attention and having fun, so running a Westerosian tavern and serving up mugs full of wine and other spirits to their thirsty patrons makes for a perfect match. Their warm, inviting personalities can easily engage even the most sour of bar-goers, and they'll maintain a healthy combo of being willing to entertain and willing to listen when a drunk old sap needs to vent his sorrows as he imbibes on some brews.

Virgo: Farmer

As an earth sign, Virgos are naturally in tune with the seasons and earth's cycles, and their impeccable eye for detail is unparalleled — making them ideal farmers in the land of Game Of Thrones. Without farmers, the townspeople (and the royal families) would go hungry, and there's really no sign I'd rather rely on for my sustenance than a Virgo. These nature babies are hardworking, dedicated, and meticulous, so you'd be in good hands.

Libra: Maiden

Libras are charming, diplomatic, and the world's greatest people-pleasers — making them perfect for the role of a royal lady's handmaiden. Ruled by Venus, Libras are naturally inclined toward art and beauty, and so fluffing up a lady's outfit, touching up their rouge, or even just showering them with lovely compliments is their cup of tea. And given their natural social instinct to be liked and please others, they'll be highly attentive to the needs of their mistress.

Scorpio: Blacksmith

Just as a scorpion has its stinger to protect the softie inside that exoskeleton, a Scorpio is drawn to anything that can offer them protection, as they're aware of their own vulnerabilities. Working as a blacksmith and making weapons is def a Scorpio game, as it takes concentration, preciseness, a warrior's mind, and the ability to hang out in a dark room for long periods of time. Scorpios embrace darkness and are fiercely protective, so this their small folk gig of choice.

Sagittarius: Hedge Knight

Sagittarius' are known for their absolutely inability to deal with boredom or staying too long in one place (physically, emotionally, or intellectually!), so the role of a hedge knight is definitely their GoT job. Hedge knights don't belong to any castle in particular like other knights do, so they're sort of knights-for-hire who travel about, moving frequently from place to place and experiencing new things. And that's exactly what a travel-lovin' Sag lives for.

Capricorn: Steward

No one gets things done with the efficiency, organization, and steadfastness that a Capricorn does, and this makes them the perfect steward. Stewards work in castles, and they set up things like infrastructure, scheduling, money — sort of like a chief secretary. A Capricorn's work-oriented, business-minded approach is idea for taking charge in a role like this one, as they'd be able to show off their chops.

Aquarius: Merchant

With an intellectual air, a calculated coolness, and an idealistic heart, Aquarians are forward thinkers and would make ideal merchants. Sharp enough to know the worth of things and intuitive enough about others to make their necessary sales, as a merchant (selling anything from spices to housewares to fancy cloths), an Aquarius would be able to flaunt their intellectual prowess and interact with people from all walks of life.

Pisces: Septon

Pisces, as the final sign of the zodiac, are naturally spiritual, ethereal, and dreamy. Their intuitive nature makes them inclined to take on the role of a septon or septa, or religious devotée. Like a priest or minister, these folk teach others the ways of their faith in addition to other practice skills. As a creative, emotionally sensitive, and sometimes even psychic water sign, Pisces are ideal for a more spiritual path, even if they're simple small folk in Westeros.