There are a few markers in most of our sexual histories. The first kiss, the first fumble, the first time you actually have sex — some moments stay in your memory forever. And, for queer women, the first time going down on another women can be pretty damn memorable — and formative.
"Our culture is so fixated on vaginal penetration with a penis constituting 'sex,' as that was a standard set a long time ago. It may be helpful for legal purposes, but not in terms of consensual sexual expression," Amy Levine, sex coach and founder of Ignite Your Pleasure tells Bustle. "In the age of fluidity and choice, when we look at lesbian relationships it serves as an example that the definition of sex can be broadened. A common example would be using fingers or giving/receiving oral. Or, using a sex toy on someone of the same gender. They are all sex acts. The real question is...does it matter?!?!?! Let each person define virginity for themselves and communicate their definition to their partner(s)."
So many women — especially those who find that their sexuality "clicks" when they hook up with a woman for the first time – have a strong memory of their first oral encounter. Now, that's not to say that all of these memories are these lovely, romantic moments. Some of them are just as awkward and weird as other first sexual experiences — and they're as varied as the women themselves.
In fact, here's what the women of Reddit had to say about their first time going down on a woman — the good, the bad, and the messy.
1When It Tickles
I have been there. In fact, I've been in both of those roles. Sometimes sensitivity reads as ticklishness and then a very serious moment turns into a farce — or a bruise — real quick.
2When It's Such A Turn On
For some people, it definitely just feels right from the very beginning.
4When It Goes Wrong
Hey, not all first times can be perfect. Some of us have unpleasant sexual encounters from time to time. But it sounds like this person has been having a good time since.
5When You're Really Confident For No Reason
Sometimes, you just need to act like you know what you're doing. And that's way easier to do if you're enjoying yourself. You can read their response and figure out the details as you go along.
8When It's Delicious
I'm very torn about this post because part of my agrees, but part of me has macaroni and cheese cooking in my oven right now and never the twain shall meet.
9When You're Not Into It
If you don't like the person or the spark isn't there, just the fact that they're a woman might not be enough to carry you through. But, eventually, they got there.
10When You're A Horny Teenager
Fair.
Going down on a woman for the first time can be an amazing experience — or an underwhelming or an awkward one. It's like every other sexual experience. But, if you've done it, there's a good chance the first time left a memory blazed into your brain. But, as these Redditors show, even if it doesn't fulfill your fantasies the first time, that's OK. Practice makes perfect.
