These Breakup Excuses Are Going To Make You Face Palm So Hard

by Laken Howard
BDG Media, Inc.

Being on the receiving end of a breakup is terrible, but it's made even crappier if, instead of hearing the truth about why your relationship is ending, you're subjected to some lame breakup excuses — because nothing is worse than not getting closure. Whether you saw it coming a mile away or were totally blindsided by a breakup, it's hard to move on when you feel like you don't know the real reason that things didn't work out. If you're planning to break up with your partner, it might seem kinder to make up an excuse rather than reveal the truth about why you no longer want to be together. In reality, being dishonest will only make it more difficult for your partner to accept and heal from the breakup.

"While the truth might be painful, getting a lame excuse only adds extra uncertainty and anxiety to the breakup," Jonathan Bennett, Relationship/Dating Coach and Owner of The Popular Man, tells Bustle. "A truthful answer is valuable for two reasons. First, the truth will usually come out later, especially if it involves another person. And seeing that will only reopen old wounds. Second, not knowing the truth can create extra insecurity and involve unnecessary speculation about the actual reason. Knowing the truth might create more initial pain, but it hastens the process of acceptance and moving on."

Anyone who's been dumped knows what a horrible feeling it is, especially if your now-ex gives you some cliché, BS reason for breaking up. In a recent AskReddit thread, one user asked people to share the worst breakup excuses they've ever heard. Here are 12 of the lamest, most hurtful, and just plain strange reasons people have given (or been given) for breaking up with someone.


The Classic Cop-Out

Even if there's some truth behind this sentiment, there are plenty of less confusing ways to say "it's not you, it's me" — so can we just agree to retire this tired line?


You Love Each Other "Too Much"

Personally, I can't imagine breaking up with someone because we were too in love... but whatever works for you, I guess.


Cold, Blunt Honesty

Being honest is a good thing, but there's a different between telling the truth and being straight-up hurtful on purpose.


You've Outgrown Your Partner

Again, even if it's true, there are nicer, more constructive ways to let your partner know that you don't feel you're compatible anymore.


You Miss The Chase

News flash: you can't make a relationship last long-term if you always need to be "chasing" someone.


You're Not Astrologically Compatible

It's always fun to explore what zodiac signs are most compatible, but if your sole reason for dumping someone is that the "stars told you to," that's pretty effing lame.


You Don't Want To Get Them A Gift

Hopefully, no one would ever outright say this to someone when breaking up with them, but if you'd rather dump someone than go to the small trouble of getting (or making) them a gift, then you're better off single anyway.


"I Don't Deserve You"

*Eyes roll so far back into head they fall out*


They Don't Like Your Favorite Movie

Listen, I'd be devastated if my partner was vehemently opposed to all things Harry Potter, but that doesn't mean I'd dump him over it — because your partner doesn't need to share every single one of your interests for you to be compatible.


You Want To Fight More (?)

Even the strongest couples argue from time to time... but not fighting isn't a bad thing, either. Unless you genuinely feel like not fighting is a problem in your relationship — e.g. your partner bottles things up instead of communicating — this is a lame excuse for ending things.


You're "Scared" Of How Much You Love Them

This might be true, but you should own up to the fact that maybe you're just not ready to be in a relationship instead of confusing your soon-to-be-ex by telling them how much you love them while you dump them.


You Want Them To Change Their Appearance

If someone ever broke up with me over how much or little makeup I wear (or anything else related to my appearance), I'd just be thankful I dodged a giant, misogynistic bullet.

No matter what reason you're given, being broken up with will hurt, and it will take time to get over a breakup. Unfortunately, not everyone is mature enough to remain compassionate, honest, and forthcoming during a breakup — but if you find yourself the recipient of some lame breakup excuse, take solace in the fact that, at the very least, you're not alone.