Which Disney Villain Would Get The Longest Prison Sentence? Because Yes, Someone Actually Calculated It
If there's one thing I love about Disney more than an adorable animal sidekick, it's a memorable, devious villain. Think about it: there isn't a classic Disney film that doesn't have a stand-out baddie. And in some cases, the bad guy can somehow end up being sadistically likeable. Maybe it's just my penchant for deadpan humour but there's something about Hades and Scar that makes their respective movies ten times better, IMHO. But exactly how bad are Disney villains, and should I rethink my life choices?
I obviously don't need to go to that extreme — these are fictional characters after all — but they have committed their fair share of devious doings. I mean, killing your own brother to take your 'rightful' place on Pride Rock is a bit much, right? So, if you were to impose the realities of law on these villains, the question is: Who would get the longest prison sentence, and therefore be crowned the "wickedest of them all?"
Well, musicMagpie have the answer, as they have given themselves the role of judge and jury, and calculated the sentence duration for these Disney characters using "sentence guidelines published by the Crown Prosecution Service and The Sentencing Council for England and Wales". This is as close as you're going to get in finding out what would happen to these villains if they were actually faced with the law.
From child cruelty, false imprisonment, attempted murder to treason, these 10 villains are the worst Disney has to offer.
1. Hades, 56 Years
I don't know about you, but I was expecting Hades' prison sentence to be a tad more rather than just over five decades. I mean, remember the pit of souls? That gave me nightmares as a kid.
It looks like Hades will go down for treason, attempted regicide, kidnapping, child endangerment, false imprisonment, and abuse of power.
Although, Hades is the God of the Underworld — the harvesting of souls comes with the job description, after all.
2. Captain Hook, 53 Years
Is that a faint tick tock that I can hear in the distance? I can imagine that will sound will be ringing in Captain Hook's ears if he were to end up in jail, because it looks like he'd be locked up for quite some time.
The obvious crime here is piracy, and everything that goes along with it. Attempted murder, murder, and kidnapping may be the pirate's life for Hook, but his reasoning behind his actions is a bit overdramatic, if you ask me.
3. Ursula, 50 Years
It's no surprise that Ursula is pretty high up this list, she is the ultimate fraudster after all. If you're a poor unfortunate soul, it would be best to stay away from this witch as she'll get you caught up in all manners of deals that you'll probably end up dying for.
Your past ultimately catches up to you though, and Ursula is no different. Years of treason, fraud, attempted murder, murder, and false imprisonment would see her spending an eternity deep under the sea... or just 50 years.
4. Scar, 48 Years
There's sibling rivalry, then there's the animosity between Scar and his older brother, Mufasa. You've gotta be just a bit evil to want to rule a kingdom more than preserving the life of your brother and nephew.
While my inner thoughts may be narrated by this narcissistic lion, his nonchalant-ness of regicide, treason, attempted murder, child endangerment, and assault are not so relatable.
5. Jafar, 47 Years
With too much power comes a lack of responsibility, and that's exactly what leads to the Grand Vizier's downfall. Jafar's quest to become the ruler of Agrabah doesn't end too well, thanks his tendency to take things way over the top.
While I'm sure that Jafar would rather be behind bars than eternally trapped in a lamp, his crimes of treason, attempted murder, kidnapping, abuse of power, and theft still add up to a pretty serious 47 years.
6. Gaston, 35 Years
No one's slick as Gaston, no one's quick as Gaston, no one's committed as many crimes as Gaston. That's how it goes, right?
Maybe not. But this pompous muscle man handles rejection by bribery, attempted murder, blackmail, breaking and entering, false imprisonment, and incitement to riot.
Talk about a charmer.
7. Prince John, 23 Years
Yeah, Prince John may have been a pretty crappy ruler causing his subjects to live in poverty, but you can't deny the hilarity that ensues watching him fail as a king.
He may not have committed as many crimes as those that succeed him on this list, but the combination of treason, abuse of power, and assault do add up, y'know.