Why Talking Politics Can Improve Your Dating Life In A Major Way
When it comes to politics, the last year was, well, to put it lightly, interesting — and a bit terrifying, too. Even those who never considered themselves political came out of the woodwork. Arguments broke out over family holiday dinners, Facebook became a sort of war zone of spats, and even relationships came to an end because of political differences. I still don't know how Democrat James Carville and Republican Mary Matalin have managed to stay married through all this. Those two are damn inspiration.
Although once up on a time, it was strongly advised that people avoid discussing politics and religion on a first date, that's definitely changed. A lot. With this in mind, online dating site OkCupid launched a new campaign entitled: DTFix Dating. While in the past DTF meant, "down to f*ck," OkCupid is putting a different spin on it, suggesting you redefine it with more intimate things like "DTFloss Together," or self-esteem related topics like, "DTFeel Fabulous," and, of course, because politics is absolutely inescapable, "DTFight About the President."
"It's no longer safe to assume that because you have the same taste in hobbies or music, you'll be politically compatible," OkCupid's Dating and Relationship Expert, Francesca Hogi, tells Bustle. "But luckily there are lots of ways to be open about your views early on. Using online profiles — social media, or dating — you can mention public figures or social movements you admire as clues for your political affiliation."
If you haven't tried that route and politics are important to you, especially in regards to who you date, then you may want to give it a whirl, because as you'll see below, talking about politics can boost your dating game.
1. It Will Make Sure You're On The Same Political Page Right Off The Bat
According to the research by OkCupid, as far as new members go the mentioning of political words in their profiles increased more than 1,000 percent from 2015 to 2017. That really, and I mean really, saying something. If you've had good dates turn bad once you discussed your political views, mentioning yours up front could be a huge time-saver in the new year.
2. Politics May Be Even More Important To You Than Sex
When it comes to finding a good match, you'll want to make sure your core values are aligned. If politics is one of your top values, then it's definitely something worth mentioning. And according to the findings by OkCupid, it seems to be even more important than good sex.
According to the data, in the top 20 cities across the United States, women millennials, especially, would rather date someone who shares their political beliefs than have "good" sex. In D.C., 70 percent of users chose politics over sex, and in Chicago, Portland, Brooklyn, and Philly, 50 percent of users made that choice.
3. It Will Help Us Narrow Down Our Options
“In the past, dating profiles or first dates were no place to discuss politics," says Hogi. "These days, our political and cultural conversations are so omnipresent that politics has become a proxy for the way we think about our values when choosing a romantic partner."
For example, if you immediately weed out those who don't share your politics, you also narrow down your options and in doing so make it easier to find a partner. Sometimes too many options can be a bit overwhelming anyway.
4. You May Realize You Might Want To Date Within Your Generation
Of those four million people who were asked what was more important, good sex or politics, millennials put far more importance on politics, by 15 percent, than Baby Boomers and Generation X-ers. While the age difference between a Gen X-er and a millennial, depending on what year they were born, might not be that big, that 15 percent does say something about what each generation holds important. Frankly, I'm surprised that more Baby Boomers don't place more importance on politics, considering they came of age during one of the most politically charged and turbulent eras in American history: the Vietnam war.
5. It Will Help You Know Where People Stand On Issues Up Front
When OkCupid realized that politics is a major component when it comes to dating, they added 14 political questions in February 2017, to the five political questions that they originally launched with in 2004. What they found was that "Trump?" was the most important question and the most answered question was, “Should guns be allowed in schools?” The latter definitely being a hot topic and one that, I imagine, many would want to know the answer to, before they went on a date with someone. I know I certainly would.
The Words You Choose Say Everything
"You could very directly describe your views — online or in person — by calling yourself liberal or conservative, a feminist, or stating that you value economics equality, free speech, reproductive rights etc.," says Hogi. "Of course, on OkCupid, you can answer the political profile questions to dig deeper into the issues you care about, and see what your potential match thinks too."
Basically, being upfront about politics can prevent you from wasting time. That's great! It can also cut down on awkward first dates ("I'm sorry, but you voted for who?!") and teary breakups weeks down the road ("I'm sorry, but you don't think we need gun control?!") It may just be a better way to go into dating in 2018.