Dating would be so much easier if you knew someone's true intentions right off the bat. But many times, people like to play it cool — they want to see where things go. That's perfectly fine if you're casually dating and open to a relationship in the future. But if you know you want something serious, there's nothing worse than falling for someone who ends up being a complete waste of time. So how can you tell if your new
partner wants commitment long-term? According to experts, there are a few early signs you can look out for.
Not everyone you go out with will be
relationship-minded. You can probably tell by the things they say and how they treat you. For instance, someone who isn't going to stick around will likely take forever to respond to your texts, they'll make plans with you at the very last minute, and just make you feel like you don't really matter. Even if they do like you, their actions will speak otherwise.
"While it's sometimes hard to predict on your first date whether
someone is going to ghost you later, there is a lot you can tell about someone early on," Susan Trombetti, matchmaker and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking, tells Bustle. "This definitely includes whether or not someone is going to stick around." So here are some early signs your partner is going to stick around, according to experts.
They Make Plans With You And Follow Through
If you're with someone who's serious about wanting a relationship with you, they'll never leave you hanging. If they're ever late for a date, they'll have a legitimate excuse, and they won't make a habit out of flaking on you because they actually care about what you think of them. They know being unreliable ins't a good look, so they'll try to avoid it as much as possible. "Anyone that is consistent with showing you they want to spend time with you and consistently shows you they care, you can always count on to stick around," Trombetti says.
They're In A Good Place In Their Life For A Committed Relationship
If you've been talking with a new partner for a while and they've mentioned being in a lot of
"situationships," but they've never been in a serious relationship, listen closely for the reason why. "If all their relationships ended due to a lack of commitment of some sort, you'll have your answer," Trombetti says. The language they'll use will clue you into how they really feel about committed relationships. If they're always talking about how they're traveling and how work keeps them busy, that's a telling sign they're not looking for anything too serious at the moment. They may not be able to provide you with the kind of stability and security you want. But if the person you're dating is talking about future plans with you, and how they prefer being in relationships than casually dating, you know they're likely to stick around.
Can you count on them when you're going through a tough time? Do they go out of their way to make sure you're doing well when you're sick? If so, Trombetti says, "This is definitely someone that will stick around." Someone who's thinking long-term with you will show you that they care. They'll go out of their way to do nice things for you, not because you asked, but just because they want to. Most importantly, you just know you can turn to them for anything. They never make you feel like your requests are obligations.
They Make Their Interest In You Very Clear
A person who's going to stick around makes their dating goals clear. As breakup recovery and dating coach,
Cherlyn Chong, tells Bustle, "They'll do exactly what they say they'll do and will text you before you have a chance to worry if they’ve ghosted you." They make you feel wanted and cared for through their words and actions. You'll always feel like a priority.
They're Consistent With You
"In the dating phase, someone should want to be seeing you at least once every week,"
Sami Wunder, global dating and relationship expert, tells Bustle. "People who date you and just see you once a month or twice a month and it never moves forward beyond that point, lack consistency." While this doesn’t mean they're "bad people" or they're actively trying to string you along, it likely does mean they're not interested enough. But if you're with someone who's consistent with their efforts, you're with someone who's going to stick around.
They're Not Afraid To Be Vulnerable With You
Someone who wants something long-term with you will have no trouble being vulnerable with you. "Due to the adaptive nature to protect ourselves from harm, people don't often share of themselves in a way that would cause discomfort or embarrassment unless they believed the outcomes, in this case the connection, would be worthwhile,"
Dr. Tamar Blank, licensed psychologist, tells Bustle. So if you know about your partner's life goals, their family dynamics, and their fears, there's a good chance they want to stick around.
You're Not Worried About The Future Of Your Relationship
"You can tell you're with someone worthwhile when the dating itself doesn’t make you anxious," Chong says. "That's the main predictor of future stability." New relationships can make anyone anxious, especially if you want it to work out. If you don't have any doubts about your partner's interest level or you never have to worry about whether they're still keeping their options open, you're in good shape. When you're dating someone who's going to stick around, you'll feel content with the pacing of your relationship. You trust that the relationship is moving forward because your partner never does anything to make you think otherwise.
If you just started dating someone and you're hoping it turns into something more serious, look out for these signs. If your partner is consistent and vulnerable, chances are, they're going to stick around for a while.