Sex & Relationships

7 Tips For Cowgirl, The Best Sex Position For Feelin' Yourself

Your guide to feeling confident on top.

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When it's comes to sex positions, some are just, well, sexier than others. Take missionary, for example. It can be super fun and intimate, but it doesn't always have the same oomph as, say, the cowgirl sex position. That one has a lot of oomph.

Not only does it let the person on top take control, it's also an amazing position for feeling confident in general. While on top, you're on full display, you get to control the pace, and you have easy access to your G-spot. But it's also a favorite sex position for couples because everyone's a winner.

As Sarah Watson, a sex therapist, tells Bustle, it can be fun and exciting for couples because, depending on which cowgirl variation you choose, there are all sorts of amazing views to be had. "I would say that it can be really fun for couples to switch it up," Watson says. Try cowgirl, then reverse cowgirl, and see what you both enjoy.

Keep in mind, though, that if you're used to taking a less dominant role during sex, being on top has the potential to be a bit intimidating. The fact you're on full display might actually make you feel self-conscious, at first. You also might not know the best ways to position yourself, to fully embrace the position. But with a little practice and experimentation, you and your partner can turn it into a fave.

Here, seven tips for enjoying the cowgirl position, because it's going to make you feel like a damn queen.

1. Use Your Arms For Support

One question many people ask, when trying cowgirl for the first time, is "What the heck do I do with my arms?!" So if you're feeling a little awkward about being on top, and don't know what to do with your limbs, try leaning forward so you're closer to your partner. Put your hands on their shoulders to help control the pace, or hold hands so they can help boost you up and down.

It'll also help if your partner leans against a wall, so you can use it for support. Not only will it give you a feeling of security, you can also use the wall to help move yourself up and down, grind — whatever you like.

It's all about experimenting and figuring out what feels best. Heck, you might even want to lie down and try a modified cowgirl position.

2. Lean Back

Similarly, you can use your arms to brace yourself, but instead of leaning forward, you'll lean back and place your hands on your heels or on top of your partner's thighs for support.

This will not only give your partner a crazy good view, but it'll also provide a great opportunity for them to play with your clit, which makes the position about a billion times better immediately.

3. Try Reverse Cowgirl

Reverse cowgirl is great for feelin' yourself because it provides your partner with an excellent view, while you get to close your eyes and do your thing. The fact you can't see your partner's face adds a super hot element to it.

To do, face the other way and lean forward onto your hands, so you can grind and bounce around without getting too tired. Just be careful if your partner has a penis that you don't bend it the wrong way or break it. (Seriously, it's a thing, so move slowly into it your first time.)

4. Tease Your Partner

As the person on top, you're in control. And that's what makes this position such a powerful one. You get to tease your partner with a just-the-tip situation. Or you might want to get them close to orgasm, only to back off at the last second and start again. Play around with it — because teasing and anticipation makes everything more fun.

5. Play With Yourself

While you can play with yourself in other sex positions, there's something about cowgirl that makes it extra enticing. Once you get your balance, that's when you can use your hands for other things. Nipple play? Check. Clit play? Double check. It's also a great position to introduce a bullet vibrator if you'd like to. There are so many options.

6. Sit Up For Extra Intimacy

Even though you're in the dominant position, it doesn't mean your partner has to lie back completely. For extra intimacy, ask them to sit in a chair or have them lean against the wall or a pillow in bed. Then climb on top and positions yourselves face-to-face. There's something so sexy about holding each other close, while doing your thing.

7. Give Up Control

All of that said, one of the sexiest things you can do in cowgirl is play with the dynamics of the position, and that might mean having your partner take over even while you're on top, especially after you've spent time teasing them. It can lead to some really passionate sex.

Of course, pretty much any position offers the potential to "feel yourself," as it were. But there's something extra special and powerful about cowgirl. So why not give it a try?


Sarah Watson, sex therapist

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