Here Comes The Bride, The Groom — & The Waiter

A decade ago, Jerry Ma attended a friend’s wedding at a relaxed but stylish restaurant in Brooklyn — and the experience left a lasting impression. “I remember at the end of that night, I was like, ‘Wow, whenever I get married, I want to have a wedding like that, too.’ Those banquet halls remind me of how a big investment bank would throw their weddings,” says the illustrator and graphic designer. “That wedding party at the restaurant was how artists would throw theirs.”

Fast forward to 2023 and he’s in the midst of planning his nuptials at Blue Ribbon Sushi Izakaya in Manhattan. “It's casual, yet formal, which is what I love about it,” says Ma.

These newlyweds aren’t alone in forgoing a traditional venue, or even the conventional ceremony, cocktail hour and reception format. “Inquiries for restaurant wedding venues on Zola have nearly tripled year-over-year,” says the platform’s wedding and registry expert Emily Forrest.

The trend is most popular in cities. Wedding photographer and newlywed Sydney Marie Slavens, who works with couples around the country, estimates that 80% of her clients outside of New York City still prefer a banquet hall or country club-type setting, partly because more “traditional” venues can accommodate larger guest counts.

Rebecca Levine, director of client hospitality services at the restaurant group Altamarea, notes a similar trend with her city-based clients, partly because restaurants are often more accessible via walking or public transportation. She used her event experience to plan two of her own creative wedding celebrations, starting with a 24-person seated dinner at in-house spot Marea, featuring a custom three-course menu. The next night, Levine and her partner bought out Roberta’s, a hip pizza joint, beginning with a raw bar and canapes leading into a family-style dinner. The events were linked by a consistent floral and votive candle motif.

“For me, that was the best of both worlds,” says Levine. “I got to have this really beautiful, elegant wedding dinner with my most intimate guests and friends and family, and then this big pizza party celebration.”

The restaurant wedding trend has more to do with the experience, for the couple and their cherished guests — with some logistical benefits along the way, too.

Tired Of Traditions?

Xin Huang, founder of event design house Le Petite Privé, first clocked an interest in intimate restaurant celebrations as social gatherings began to return. “A lot of people's mentality shifted [over the pandemic] from ‘what has to be,’” she says. “Traditions that maybe are a little bit dated or just antiquated can be left behind, like having it at a wedding banquet hall.”

Marie Lyons, director of events of the Noho Hospitality Group, agrees. “Weddings are becoming a little bit less precious, and a little bit less formal for a lot of folks,” she says. “Maybe not the wedding their parents envisioned.”

As last year’s Great Wedding Boom surges forward and the anti-wedding movement rages, clients continue to value uniqueness. “People are almost thinking more toward the guest experience over the traditions,” says Slavens, who’s noticed her 2024 couples opting to throw a party at a bar, restaurant, or other unexpected space. “They want something more intimate: a moodier or organic environment that most ballrooms or wedding venues can't achieve on their own,” she says, noting that constant interruptions from the traditional reception itinerary can hinder the “ease” and natural flow of conversation and celebrating.

A wedding in a sentimental location can be ultra-meaningful. “Sometimes [clients say], ‘Hey, this is a favorite place of ours,’” says wedding planner Sojourner Judson, who’s also booked couples’ first date spots.

Say “I Do” To A Great Meal

Food — and good food, which weddings usually aren’t known for — has become integral to the tailor-made experience factor. “Having good food at your wedding, and the restaurant you choose, is a reflection of your taste,” says Lyons.

The numbers don’t lie. “Couples want to personalize their wedding to feel more authentic to them and 21% see cuisine as an avenue to achieve this,” says Forrest, also sharing that the top searched restaurants on Zola are Brooklyn Winery in New York City, Liberty House Restaurant in Jersey City, New Jersey, and Inn of Seventh Ray in Topanga, California.

Couples typically select a restaurant that represents them through its ambiance, décor, set-up, size, and maybe even lighting, thereby lessening — or negating — the need to bring in outside vendors, like florists, chair and table rentals, and lighting. “A lot of people gravitate toward restaurants because of the ease, and it's less for them to think about,” says Huang.

Working in their familiar restaurant space, chefs and other staff can ensure consistent, high-quality cuisine and service, over caterers in temporary kitchens. “They know the space, they know the recipes like the back of their hand, day in, day out,” says Huang.

Judy Diaz, event director at Peak NYC, recalls one couple who elevated their favorite dessert into a show. “We had a chef come out in the middle of the dance floor to do a banana fosters presentation,” she says.

Relax, It’s Just A Party

Cocktail fêtes and straight-up bashes allow couples to fully relax and celebrate with cherished guests, and cull or forgo superfluous customs, from cake cutting to garter/bouquet tossing.

Last November following a small ceremony, Slavens invited 90 guests to celebrate her nuptials at an Orlando bar, Mathers Social Gathering. “It was very non-traditional, no toast or anything. It was just a full dance party-reception feel throughout the night,” she says. The “late-night bites” theme featured comfort food sliders, hot dogs, fries, and boozy ice cream, while the creative beverage offerings rounded out the blowout event.

Cocktail bashes give couples the opportunity to playfully put their twist on the evening. Huang recalls one client requesting custom drink stirrers featuring a set of macaws. “A symbol of everlasting love because macaws mate for life,” she says.

... But Don’t Expect To Save

Restaurant nuptials aren’t necessarily more cost-effective and pricing can run on par with a traditional venue — or more. “It can be really expensive,” says Judson, who estimates that her clients shell out upward of $90,000 to $150,000 (for 100 to 125 guests).

Depending on the locale, food and beverage minimums and/or the size of your party can come at a premium, especially on in-demand weekend evenings. Per head, you might be able to spend less than $100, but costs can dramatically increase from there. Huang estimates that her luxury clients pay upward of $800 per person for an opulent “high-touch” restaurant affair (inclusive of the planning services).

These Venues Have Challenges, Too

Unlike wedding halls and hotel ballrooms, restaurants may not offer much flexibility when it comes to reconfiguring the layout. “They might not have a bridal suite for you to get ready in, so you have to be like, ‘All right, what corner am I changing in?’” says Huang. Some locations may not have room for a dance floor and/or fit the traditional schedule, either. Plus, rules regarding DJs, additional sound systems, and even open flames on candles will vary.

Not all eateries are accustomed to providing the client service expected for a wedding, or have the dedicated and trained staff to do so. “They're a restaurant or a bar first,” says Slavens. “So the experience day-of will be great, but leading up to it might not be as seamless as other vendors that you may be working with.”

But maybe couples and their guests will be too busy enjoying delicious food, hard partying, and making memories to notice.

Sources:

Sydney Marie Slavens, wedding photographer

Xin Huang, founder of Le Petite Privé

Marie Lyons, director of events of the Noho Hospitality Group

Sojourner Judson, wedding planer

Judy Diaz, event director at Peak NYC