Come one, come all Real Housewives fans: I’m about to obsessively pore over the one thing that every single franchise has in common, which also happens to comprise the moments all we fans shamelessly live for: the craziest Real Housewives fights ever. Basically, this entire rehashing will feel like one extended version of "Well, what had happened was...," so pull up a seat (and a drink because you might need it), get comfy, and let's get down to business.
Now, when I think of the more memorable Housewives feuds, they automatically fall somewhere on the scale of "Well, that was really unfair" to "Oh, HELL NO — somebody hold my shoes and earrings." Since the franchise has gone from zero to crazy (real quick), most of the recent fights can be filed under the latter category — and this, ladies and gentlemen of Real Housewives fandom, is where things get interesting. In a totally dysfunctional kind of way.
Whether the ladies are grappling over friendship faux pas, dinner party takedowns, or your garden variety "he said, she said" drama, we've all had a ringside seat to most of the madness. So, like a couple of neighborhood gossips perched on a stoop, let's toast to getting to the bottom of all this drama.
Here's how six of the most insane fights in Real Housewives history started in the first place:
1. RHONJ's Danielle Staub Vs. Jacqueline Laurita
Honestly, Danielle couldn't find an RHONJ ally to save her life... but that wasn't always the case. In the beginning, she was fast friends with Jacqueline. But, her allegedly spreading lies about her friend's family and engaging in a social media feud with Jacqueline's daughter Ashlee Holmes was enough to bring her friend count on the show to zero.
2. RHONY's Jill Zarin Vs. Bethenny Frankel
No one can forget all the backstabbing that sent Jill's Real Housewives stock plummeting to a fiery death by way of viewer consensus. Allegedly, this friendship went downhill because Jill was jealous of Bethenny's Bravo spinoffs, and reportedly asked other RHONY cast members to stop filming with the Skinny Girl entrepreneur.
3. RHOC's Gretchen Rossi Vs. Tamra Judge
I am SO over this fight. Seriously, the Gretchen and Tamra feud can be traced back five years ago to when Tamra claimed Gretchen cheated on her then-fiancé. Then, it turned into a three-way bashing session when Slade Smiley and Gretchen began dating — basically because he's a magnet for Housewives hate.
4. RHOA's "Pillow Talk" Brawl (Aka Everyone Vs. Everyone)
I've always maintained that NeNe Leakes instigated this entire fight, but the pot-stirring began long before any of her pajama-clad guests arrived for this "pillow talk" brawl. In a nutshell, Kenya Moore totally trashed someone else's husband, and when word got back to the guy and his wife, NeNe thought her couples' night shindig would be the perfect place for them to hash out their differences.
Clearly, that was the worst decision ever.
5. RHOM's Adriana de Moura Vs. Joanna Krupa
Adriana allegedly threw a punch at Joanna because Joanna came to the defense of another woman with whom Adriana was arguing. Moral of the story: Intervene in other people's catfights at your own risk.
6. RHOBH's Brandi Glanville Vs. Everyone Else
This is an easy one. Simply put, Brandi's offensive remarks and behavior landed her on basically all of the Housewives' sh*t list at one point or another — even if they were from another cast. Of course, crazy fights are one of the main reasons to love this show — so here's hoping there's many more of these where they came from. Keep on keepin' on, Real Housewives!