Chandler Bing Snarks To Keep Your Friends In Line

by Mary Grace Garis

I've said up and down the Internet that Phoebe Buffay is my favorite friend from Friends, but, when it comes to delivering sarcastic lines while covering up hardcore insecurity, I'm classically Chandler. Joey has his endearing stupidity, Monica has her control freak tendencies, and Rachel has her hair, but Chandler only has his words as his weapons. But you know what? That's enough! And, if you channel your inner Chandler, you should be able to snark your friends back to reality with only a handful of choice words.

"But how do I do it?" you may ask. I know, even after watching about a gazillion episodes of Friends, it's hard to see the signs. But, luckily, I've consolidated all the steps and considerations when it comes to executing the perfect Chandler-esque snark. Because you'll need that when your roommate is eating a ham and cheese sub in the shower, or when your best friend gets their children's book on dinosaurs published. Wow, really putting that paleontology PhD to good use, aren't we?

Anyway, here's all the things you need to do to up your snarkcasm game to Chandler Bing level.

1. Assert Your Disbelief At Your Friend's Incredulous Claims With Assertive Mock Belief

Try all you want but, you're so not over your ex.

2. Undermining The Ridiculousness Of Your Friend's Attire Is A Surefire Way To Wrangle Lolz

Yoga pants and a wrinkled denim button down? Yeah, I don't think that's what they meant by "business casual."

3. Humorously Redirect Everyone's Special Moments Back To Your Problems

No less than five jokes about being single AF during the maid of honor toast at your besties' wedding.

4. But Really, Let Them Know That You're Being Ignored

Even if they're not listening, at least you'll know you're funny.

5. Highlight Your Triumphs With Victorious Gestures

Yes, Justin texted me first, suck it, Madison!

6. Always Let The Group Know That You're The Most Chaste Of The Bunch

Or not even the most chaste — just the one least likely to ask questions during a movie.

7. And Definitely Take A Humorous Angle With Religion When It Comes To Getting Out Of Stuff You Don't Want To Do

This is a day of rest, and that's why I'm not going to get up at 6 a.m. to do Yogalates.

8. In Fact, Highlight Your Stubbornness With A Playful Assertion That You Truly Want The Worst For Yourself

But seriously, you don't care that you won't have buns of steel; you're eating that donut and sleeping in.

9. Faux Deliberation Is Another Fun Angle To Try Out

It looked like you were going to cave, but then you didn't! Hilarity!

10. If You're Ever Feeling Stumped For A Line, An Emphatic Catch Phrase Is Always Effective

Could you be any more original?

11. And Finally, Never Forget To Make Yourself A Part Of The Joke

At the end of the day, it's not mean if they know that half of your comedic material is redirected back to your own personal inferiorities.

Images: Warner Bros. Television; Giphy (11)