Giving oral sex can definitely be a daunting task. Everybody's likes and dislikes are different when it comes to being on the receiving end, and sometimes the person giving and the person receiving aren’t on the same page. It can make for a “Wait, am I good at giving oral sex?" or an "OMG, am I doing this right?” situation. Of all the things that come with giving oral sex, the biggest concern is usually whether or not you’re doing it “right.”
But the thing with oral sex is that there's really no "right" or "wrong" way to do it. Of course, if you start ferociously gnawing on your partner’s genitals as if they're the last slice of pizza on Earth, that might constitute "wrong." But decent knowledge of that region of the body is really all you need to have successful oral sex technique. You may not initially blow minds, but with practice, you can get pretty damn close. Yes, you can be good at oral sex. And yes, there are signs that point you towards knowing this for sure. And man oh man does it feel awesome when you know you’ve nailed it.
Here’s how to tell you’re killing it in the oral sex department.
1. You Realize It’s About More Than Just The Penis Or The Vagina
Whether you’re giving oral to a man or a woman, it’s all about extending that pleasure past their nether regions. It’s about using your fingers to stimulate their nipples, your hands to cup or tug their balls, or kissing the inside of their thighs. Someone who’s good at oral knows it’s not just about focusing on one spot, but about multitasking.
2. You Switch Up Your Technique
When I took a blowjob class at Babeland, they taught us techniques that I didn’t even know existed. It’s wasn’t just about sucking and licking, but also tapping the head of the penis against your mouth and lips or taking it in your mouth while humming a nice little tune. The key to great oral is variation.
3. You Listen And Respond Accordingly
Communication, communication, communication ― I cannot stress this one enough. When it comes to great sex, both you and your partner have to communicate, and the most important part of communication is listening. If someone’s oohs and ahhs suddenly change to wild screams of pleasure, then you know you're doing something right. If they change to radio silence, then you need to amend things.
4. You Don’t Get Discouraged When Given Direction
Getting offended when a partner offers tips during sex is just bad news bears. It’s in no way a suggestion that your attempts suck ― they just want to help you out. Giving someone direction is part of the whole "communication" thing, and being good at giving head means welcoming that input with open arms (or mouth?) and not getting pouty about it.
5. You Have A Good Memory
When you’re with the same person for a while, knowing what makes them tick becomes second nature. Filing away the ins and outs of your partner’s body will make you better in bed in all ways, especially when it comes to giving oral. You’ll know just what to touch, with what amount of pressure, and exactly how you should be moving your hands and mouth.
6. You Go Into It With Total Confidence
According to science, confidence is what makes a person successful, even if they have too much of it. If you can go into giving your partner oral sex without even the slightest hesitation or doubt about how fantastic you are at it, then eventually, you'll actually become fantastic at it.
7. You Thoroughly Enjoy It
As a 2013 study found that noisy sex is good sex. When you don’t just enjoy it, but vocally enjoy it, your partner is going to love it even more, as well. Because sex is about communication on all levels, communicating to your partner that you’re having a great time with your face in their crotch is going to make them have a great time, too.
8. Your Partner Tells You That You're Awesome At It
Listen, no one is under any obligation to tell you that you’re good at giving oral sex if you’re not. In fact, a good partner will give you a heads-up about where you need to tweak things so you can get better. Since that’s the case, if someone ― a casual hookup or otherwise ― tells you that you have oral sex skills for days, then you do. Now give yourself a high five.
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