You know, there are days when I think I have heard it all. I’ve been on this earth for twenty-something years now and very little surprises or shocks me anymore. But, then, something happens that proves me wrong. Take Selena Gomez’s song, “Good For You.” It’s great, right? Catchy, sultry, blah blah blah. But it isn’t the melody or popularity that’s the kicker in this situation. No, the reason this tune has me floored is because, according to BBC Radio 1, there are fans who thought the infamous opening lines were, “I'm farting carrots” instead of “I'm a 14 carat.” Another Selena Gomez rumor for the record books, folks.
Why would they think such a decidedly smelly thing? Well, obviously, because all good sensual songs should start out with a line about flatulence. Also, as Gomez points out, if you think of the line being said with a British accent, it is a bit more understandable. But, still, people. Still.
Despite that absolutely perplexing rumor that was effectively squashed by the singer, there are still a few perturbing others that are somehow even more questionable. If you don’t believe me, I’ll show you.
Here are five of the craziest rumors ever spread about Gomez.
1. She Dated Three Of Music's Most Eligible Bachelors In One Summer
According to wild imaginations, Gomez dated Nick Jonas, Ed Sheeran, and Zayn Malik in less than two months. Jonas said of the rumors to Capital FM,
We kind of ran into each other a couple of weeks ago, like walking in Venice. We were both with separate groups of friends and we ran into each other. I put a dinner together with a bunch of really great people, like the Haim girls, who I love. They're awesome. They're the best. It was a big group of people and we all had a great time. We connect in that sense. It was nice to connect and just catch up. I'll leave it there!
Considering Gomez's indifference when asked about Malik following her on Twitter in the BBC Radio 1 interview, and the Sheeran rumors fizzling out practically before they started, I think it's safe to say that she probably has not romanced any of these dudes any time recently.
2. She's Dated Celebs She Has Never Even Met
Remember the great Waka Flocka Flame-Selena Gomez romance? Yeah, me either.
Waka Flocka Flame didn't even know who she was. I repeat: Did. Not. Know. Who. She. Was. But, apparently, all it takes is a few tweets to make up the love of a lifetime. According to MTV News, the rapper said this of the rumors that they were dating,
That’s just fans and I’m a friendly person, fans [felt] like I should mess with Selena. I guess that’s what my fans want me to do, but I [tweeted] out that you should respect her, [because] she got a career. That was real random. Honestly, I knew what it was but I never knew her name or nothing, till I put two and two together, then I Googled her and was like damn "she look good."
Twitter is like a really bored, small town.
3. She & Miley Cyrus Were Both Impregnated By Justin Bieber
It's about as ridiculous as it sounds, but here's how the tale was spun. Based on a crazy rumor that Gomez was pregnant in 2012, Hollywood Life went on to elaborate that a source said while she and Bieber, "were on one of their many relationship breaks," Biebs and Cyrus did the deed, the singer got pregnant, and then Cyrus had what was assumed to be a miscarriage. Personally, I think that "source" watches too much daytime TV.
4. She & Taylor Swift Weren't Friends Because Of The Biebs
As the story goes, Swift gradually came to the realization that she didn't like Bieber, Gomez obviously still did, and then because of that little conflicting factoid, neither gal was getting along too well. But, then Taylor Swift told Rolling Stone ,
People think they have my relationships all mapped out. There were all these blogs, like, "Are they feuding? Are they fighting?" Meanwhile Selena and I would be on the phone that night, laughing about it. We let them have that one.
Know what's not a rumor? That Taylena is forever.
5. She & Taylor Wrote A Diss Track About Demi Lovato & Katy Perry
Obviously, if their friendship is in tact, others have to fall to the wayside. Yes, "Bad Blood" is thought to be about Perry, but it's an extremely general tune that could be applied to practically anyone who's lost a friend in a sordid way. Fans wouldn't have even thought it was about Perry if Swift didn't hint at it in a Rolling Stone interview and if Perry didn't send out that ominous tweet about the "Regina George in sheep's clothing," so I hardly think the singer would partake in a Drake-Meek Mill type of song feud, especially not with Gomez who basically never has a bad word to say about anyone. Come on, guys. We're not this gullible, are we?
In conclusion, don't believe anything. Ever. I don't know about you, but I'm giving Gomez the three finger Katniss salute for making it through the Internet Celebrity Gossip Hunger Games with absolute grace.
Images: Giphy (3)