Matty Discovers Jake & Gabby Hooked Up On 'Awkward' & That's Not The Only Premiere Bombshell

From the moment it started, Monday night's Awkward Season 5 premiere brought a ton of drama. Oddly enough, the episode begins in a closet full of nude high school seniors. It becomes clear that Matty's brilliant plan as "Senior Prank Captain" was to orchestrate a senior streak through the halls, because freedom! Kudos to the Palos Hills class of 2015, who share an apparent other worldly close bond, because everyone in that scene looked incredibly at ease with their collective and close quartered nudity. Just a stray observation on my part. Once you got past the logistics behind all of those naked bodies crammed into a tiny janitor's closet, fans were reminded of a big leftover bomb during Jenna's accidental eavesdrop of the hushed whispers between Jake and Gabby, who hooked up last season.

Jenna overhears these two pillagers of Matty's heart nervously discussing a certain intimate event that transpired between the two of them. Yup, in case you forgot, Gabby cheated on Matty with Jake. Luckily, we were treated to a previously negated detail about their tryst to properly blow our neurons out of our ears a little bit. Gabby lets it slip that before she slept with Jake, she was a virgin. Boom. I don't exactly have the scientific data to back this up, but I feel comfortable saying that this probably isn't her ideal situation.

Jenna of course, doesn't know if she should tell Matty or if she should keep this atom bomb of information to herself. My personal reaction was to scream, "TELL HIM, JENNA!" Because, we are all familiar with this old chestnut. He's going to find out, and he's going to be mad that she kept the secret. It's somewhere in the survival guide of television/cinema that you always pass on juicy tidbits like this one, or you get the full amount of blame placed on you just for having functioning ears.

The saddest part of the whole crime has to be Matty's complete ignorance to the idea that anything may be askew in his relationship with Gabby. While she and Jake talk about it literally any minute they get alone (and they sure do get a lot of alone time), Matty will adorably bumble in, completely unaware, and lovingly show her affection.

But just as it seems like we can all just hold it together for another episode, things completely fall apart in the last two minutes. Jake let's it "slip" to Gabby that Matty had actually planned to break up with her for Jenna and that he only decided not to because Jenna found her spring break GI Joe (who she dropped like a hot potato, this episode). This doesn't really sit well with Gabby (weird, right?) and she walks right up to him with a standard, "I f*cked Jake," like she's telling him the weather. Anyone else have deja vu? Once Matty's fist met Jake's face, I was spinning into some serious nostalgia. But what does this mean for these central relationships? Jake and Matty have some serious repairing to do if they want to get past this, and now Jenna is in hot water for being the innocent bystander who kept her mouth shut.

I think that Jake and Matty might be the worst friends in the history of friends, to be completely honest. This whole scenario seemed wholly familiar to the beginning of the series, though reversed. How many times can these two betray each other and move on? I think it's time to cut the ties and realize that they may be in a toxic bromance that has finally reached it expiration date. As for Jenna, she shouldn't be held accountable for her silence. Her heart was in the right place.

Of course, there is one even more important takeaway from this eventful season premiere, now that they are both conveniently single, Jenna and Matty need to get back together immediately.

Images: MTV (4)