Katy Perry & John Mayer Interview Brings Out The Vultures. Go Home, Vultures.

Share

There is apparently something incredibly offensive about two celebrities being in love. Why else would Katy Perry and John Mayer be the subject of such great morbid curiosity that not one, but two major entertainment publications would run with a headline about Perry and Mayer not talking to each other at home? The other narrative? Perry "dissing" Kanye West by joking about Kim Kardashian's hair blowing the wrong direction on her "Bound 2" motorcycle. Sure, the headlines are simply manipulating Mayer and Perry's interview with Ellen DeGeneres in order to generate clicks, but the direction in which most publications are going with this cozy little holiday interview suggests that readers are seeking a negative story about the lovebirds.

But why so angry, everyone? The knee-jerk reaction to something like "Katy and John Don't Talk at Home" is never, "Oh, my! I wonder why these two might have such a seemingly unusual practice." Nope. It's always going to be, "These people are insane. Let me read about just how insane they are."

Nevermind the fact that when you get to the interview (below), Perry explains that she and Mayer, as professional singers, both go through periods in which their vocal chords are strained from performing so often and that one or the other has, at times, had to take days of complete vocal rest — meaning no talking or even whispering. It's sounds like an over-the-top diva move, but just Google "vocal rest for singers" and you'll see that for someone whose voice is their money-maker, it is everything. It's similar to the way the rest of us need to look away from our computers once an hour or take a day without significant screen time so we don't go blind someday. Thassit. It's not some surreptitious signal of their mounting discontent.

TheEllenShow on YouTube
YouTube

Of course, Perry and Mayer have given fans reason to question them with a collective lion's share of public dick moments, as we pointed out when they released their lovey-dovey "Who You Love" video. It's easy to hate them because they've disappointed us before, but the only target we have now is the fact that they say they're in love. If they're really horrible people, then what we should really be doing is completely ignoring their mushy display, not blowing it out of proportion.

If either Perry or Mayer starts trying to dictate what the other one wears and eats, then you can cry foul. If they have children and create a dress code made up of somber neutrals for their baby, then we can furrow our brows and start asking questions. If they do another racist performance and make out all over it while giving us the middle finger, then it's time to be angry.

But for now, they're just two fools in love and because Mayer only knows how to write autobiographical songs and he's apparently experiencing his first instance of long-term monogamy, his music is going to tell us all about it. At this point, being annoyed with their relationship is akin to making snide remarks behind the prom queen's back in high school: it's easy and it makes you feel better because even if you don't want exactly what she has, you want to feel the way it appears to make her feel and she totally doesn't even deserve it because [insert complaint here before trailing off completely].

Feel good about your own life and let two pop stars feel good about theirs. The world of celebrity is a negative place, would it hurt to just let one or two major stories be simple and happy, for once? Even just for Christmas? Then we can get back to complaining about Miley's tongue's latest outing. I promise.

Image: TheEllenShow/YouTube