Dirty Jokes In 'The Muppets' Premiere Prove This Is Not Your Childhood Show

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I have to admit that I was eagerly anticipating The Muppets series premiere, “Pig Girls Don’t Cry." As a kid, I came to love these characters and often thought of them as my own group of friends. But if you, like me, were expecting to find the fun and innocent Muppets you remember from childhood, then odds are the show's grand debut left you shocked. Now, don't get me wrong, they still possessed the traits and mannerisms of the furry creatures we'd come to love throughout the years, but the dialogue is not quite as appropriate for kids as it was back in their original heyday. I might as well just come right out and say it. There were several dirty jokes made throughout The Muppets premiere.

Now, to the show's credit, the jokes were definitely pretty subtle, so if you did want your kid to tune in, it wouldn't horribly corrupt them in any way. But, as an adult who can easily detect these little side-wink inferences, I now feel emotionally scarred for life.

For example, when Fozzie is nervous about meeting his girlfriend's parents, he says he wants it to go well since he'd rather not go back to the grueling process of online dating due to all the confusion it's brought him. He explains this further by saying: "When your online profile says 'passionate bear looking for love,' you get a lot of wrong responses. Um, not wrong. Just wrong for me." Like I said, the sexual implication here is subtle, but still very much there.

I guess, for me, it just feels strange coming from a character I've always perceived as possessing such childlike innocence. But, I suppose this proves how much this series is geared more toward adults than kids.

And then, let's not forget Kermit's sex joke, which I will never be able to scrub from my brain. When talking about how he met his new girlfriend, Denise, he states: "We were at a cross-promotional synergy meeting, and we ended up... cross-promoting." I'm sorry, but that's a double entendre that could've definitely done without ever hearing. So thanks for that, Muppets. I'm sending you my therapy bill.

Images: Andrea McCallin/ABC (2)