10 Thoughts On Dating From Aziz Ansari

Unless you've been hiding out somewhere without access to the world, then you already know that Aziz Ansari has become a voice of reason and humor when it comes to relationships and dating, as he’s proven in his book Modern Romance , and again in a new interview in ELLE’s November “Women in Hollywood” issue that’s on newsstands now. Anyone who’s watched Parks and Rec is already familiar with the adorable charms of Aziz Ansari. While Amy Poehler’s Leslie Knope introduced us to another feminist icon to which to live up to, Ansari’s character, Tom Haverford, gave us something else, and I’m talking about more than just Treat Yo Self Day. He gave us a character we wanted as a BFF, a boyfriend, and the voice in our head telling us that why, yes, you do deserve to buy those Jimmy Choo sandals.

With the premiere of his new series, Master of None just days away from its November 6 premiere, Ansari sat down with ELLE’s Mickey Rapkin to discuss the series, as well as his thoughts on Tinder, marriage, and other aspects of dating and relationships. As always, his insight is funny, honest, and actually quite scientific and thoughtful, too. In other words, Ansari is truly the gift that keeps giving.

Here are 10 thoughts on dating and relationships from Aziz Ansari that will make you realize you’re not alone in your confusion with trying to find “the one.”

1. Tinder Isn’t As Bad As Some Articles Will Have You Believe

“There are all these articles saying Tinder is the end of romance, that it's so superficial. But that's nonsense if you ask me. Tinder. What is it? You're seeing someone's face on a screen, and you swipe right if you think they're attractive; you swipe left if not. Okay—what does anybody do when they go into any kind of party or social situation? They look at people's faces. It's the same thing! I saw that face, that face feels good on my brain. I'll talk to them, and if I like what they say back, maybe we'll end up boning.” ― ELLE, October 23, 2015

2. First Dates Should Be Far From Boring

“There's this idea in my book called the Monster Truck Rally Theory, which says most of the dates you go on are these boring résumé exchanges. You should push yourself to think of something fun and different, where you can get a sense of who this person is and get a vibe for what it's like to hang out with them.” ― ELLE, October 23, 2015

3. The Idea Of A ‘Soul Mate’ Is New Territory

"Marriage, not that long ago, was an economic institution where two families would come together to bring their wealth together. The whole idea of finding a soul mate only became a thing in the past 100 years." Time, March 2, 2015

4. All Dates Should Have Some Level Of Excitement To Keep Things Spicy

"A couple of weeks ago I took my girlfriend to the WWE SummerSlam. That was really fun. It's not like going to the same restaurant we always go to. Instead The Undertaker is getting body slammed in front of us." ― ELLE, October 23, 2015

5. Apparently We're All Faking We're Too Busy To Return A Text

"Now if someone likes you and you don’t like them back, you just pretend to be busy forever. That’s what people do now, they pretend to be busy forever, then they conduct this strange psychological experiment, where it’s like, 'How much hope does this person have?'"― Aziz Ansari: Live at Madison Square Garden

6. Monogamy Isn’t As Easy As We Like To Believe

“Science shows that, sexually, we're aroused by new things. And a long-term relationship—by design, you get used to each other. You've had sex with this person so many times you run out of ideas. That's when people are like, there’s an ottoman in the garage, we can pull that out and…” ― ELLE, October 23, 2015

7. Online Dating Really Is Like A Second Job

"Online dating is like a second job that requires knowledge and skills that very few of us have. In fact, most of us have no clue what we're doing. One reason is that people don't always know what they're looking for in a soul mate, unlike when they're picking something easier, like laundry detergent (big ups to Tide Mountain Spring — who doesn't want to their clothes to smell like a fresh mountain spring?!)." Modern Romance

8. Marriage These Days Seems Rather Lackluster

“There are more and more people who don't really feel so enraptured by the institution of marriage these days. There are so many more people who are like, ‘Oh yeah, we just went to the courthouse and got this thing done so we get a tax refund’.” ― ELLE, October 23, 2015

9. Technology Has Made Dating So Much Easier

"Today, if you own a smartphone, you’re carrying a 24-7 singles bar in your pocket." ― Time, June 4, 2015

10. What The True Definition Of Love Really Means

“If you’ve held someone you love and watched three to ten hours of a critically acclaimed drama, you’ve experienced the peak of human happiness.” Modern Romance

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