11 Franchises That Need To Gender Swap To Give Ladies Their Chance To Shine
I think I'm getting greedy in the glorious age of an all-female Ghostbusters. I feel greedy because, although I have an extensive DVD collection that mostly reads like the “movie with a strong female lead” category on Netflix, I feel like most movies are still testosterone-driven. It pains me, physically pains me that we don’t have more female-fronted films out there these days. In fact, I sometimes think the world (or at least modern cinema) would be better if we just re-casted all movies with females.
Not that I'm unaware about the veritable social media onslaught that would occur every time someone pitched an all-female anything. The revolution that was supposed to come with Bridesmaids ("Hey guys, women are funny, maybe we should give them their own movies!") never quite landed. But maybe remakes are the way to really grab people's attention instead of creating fresh work, if only because outrage spawns attention. (Or maybe not, because look at that Jem and the Holograms movie.) But, regarding gender-swapped versions of classic films, I’m intrigued to see how feminine energy will change the story… if it’ll change the story.
So here are 11 classics that could potentially use a women’s touch.
1. The Goonies
It's not that Andy and Stef don't count, as they are essential members of the team (well, Stef is). But I just feel like we'd be able to tackle more pressing female matters with an all-girl team. Female Chunk could boldly promote body positivity with the truffle shuffle, and Lady Sloth could definitely challenge conventional beauty standards.
2. Back To The Future
Because we need more women in STEM careers and honestly? It's kind of remarkable that Marty's frequent time-hopping didn't fracture history and turn him into a girl at some point.
You can tell the shark's a girl because of that bright pink bow.
4. American Pie
Four best friends make a pact to lose their virginity before prom night, before realizing that "virginity" is merely a social construct created to shame or sanctify girls, when really what you do with your body is your own damn choice.
No pies are harmed in the making of this film.
5. The Original Star Wars Trilogy
Props to The Force Awakens, since we have Daisy Ridley as the lead and she's totally a feminist hero, but maybe we could revamp the original movies so Leia isn't the only woman in the galaxy. Watch the outrage pour out at this suggestion, as if I said something incredulous, like "Greedo shot first."
6. Also The Entire Lord Of The Rings Trilogy
All right, this one tampers with Tolkien canon, so it's a risky suggestion. Still, there are a solid amount of bros, and maybe we can just trade a few in so Arwen, Galadriel, and Eowyn aren't the only three women in the Shire.
7. And How About Pirates Of The Caribbean
Again, just so the only women in the whole wide ocean isn't just Elizabeth, those two women that slapped Captain Jack, Anamaria, and Salma Hayek in the... fourth film.
8. The Lost Boys
Or The Lost Girls, amirite? Mostly because there aren't enough films with female vampires and 1980s punk aesthetics, respectively.
9. Fight Club
"Female Fight Club" isn't just Megan's brilliant idea for a bridal shower in Bridesmaids, it's also a brilliant idea for the next summer blockbuster.
10. Reservoir Dogs
Let's just add a new dimension of terror to that ear cutting scene, shall we?
11. The Matrix
Because I stand by the fact that Trinity was the coolest part of the first movie, and then she steps aside to let Neo be "the one" and all, and it's just not fair. I want a Trinity-led Matrix, or I just want a team of enlightened Zion babes in black trench coats.
Then again, in some cases, it's best to leave well enough alone. Maybe we should put more focus on creating more female-led franchises going forward, as well.
Images: Giphy (11); New Line Cinema